Me: Once upon a time...long, long, ago....
Xel: You're getting really good at starting your stories correctly, you know that?
Me: *grabs Xelloss by his shirt, and drags him down till his nose is a few inches from mine* If you wouldn't interrupt me every time I start my story, we'd be able to finish them much faster.
Xel: *choke*
Zel: She does have a point.
Amelia: Um, Alyson? You might want to let him go. His face is starting to match his hair color.
Me: *releases Xel* As I was saying; Once upon a time, there was a young dragon maiden who always dreamed of being human.
Filia: I DO NOT! YOU LIE!
Me: Filia, it's just a story! Don't take it seriously!
Filia: Humph.
Me: Anyway, this dragon was fascinated by the way the humans lived, and how they interacted with each other.
Filia: *muttering* Bunch of barbarians, if you ask me.
Me: Well, I didn't, so hush. Filia's father wasn't too happy with her fascination..
Phil: *roaring* HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THE SAILLUNE NAME AND BECOME ENAMORED WITH THOSE PESKY HUMANS?!
Filia: Um, I'm not a Saillune...
Phil: Oh.
Syl: Prince Phil, maybe you should calm down a bit. It is just a phase, you know. All young dragons go through it at one point in their life.
Phil: NOT MY DAUGHTER!
Me: Filia's two younger sisters, however, supported her fascination, for they shared in her obsession.
Filia: *sobbing* No one understands the way I feel!
Amelia: *hugging Filia* Now now, Filia, it's all right! I understand completely!
Lina: *folding her arms and snorting* Stop your blubbering, Filia, you know that Dad's all bark and no bite.
Filia: *sniffle* I know, but it's so frustrating sometimes!
Amelia: I know. I've been watching the humans for a while now, as well, and it's difficult to have to hide it from Daddy.
Lina: Never knew you watched them, too.
Amelia: *grin* Now you know!
Me: Down in the realm of the humans, Prince Valgarv was making a journey across the ocean with his right hand man and his Captain of the Guards.
Zel: *reading script, and eyes bug* I'M A MATCHMAKER?!
Me: Not really, Zel. You're his friend and you want to see him settled down.
Zel: *snort* Right....
Me: I could stick you in that bunny suit and say you're entertainment....
Zel: *siiiiigh* Prince Val, weren't you even a little bit interested in the princesses we introduced you to?
Val: No.
Gourry: How come? There were some really pretty girls with nice chests in that last batch!
Lina: *whacking Gourry on the head* PERVERT!
Gourry: Owwww......
Val: I wasn't interested, and that's the last of it, ok? Besides, it's a nice day for sailing home, and we should enjoy it! *stares at Alyson* What kind of script is this?
Me: Oh hush. -_-
Sailor 1: Aye, it is a nice day for a sail! King Philionel must be in a good mood!
Val: King Philionel?
Gourry: I thought Phil was only a Crown Prince.... *scratches head*
Zel: *sigh* It's part of the story, Gourry.
Gourry: Oh.
Sailor 2: Ruler of the Dragon Folk, lad. He controls the winds and weather around here.
Zel: Pay no attention to him, Prince Val. Everyone knows that dragons don't exist.
Val and Filia: *getting murderous looks in their eyes* THEY DO TO, YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Zel: *sweat drop* I'M READING FROM THE SCRIPT!!!
Val: @#$%$#@$$#$@@$$@$$%%%$!!!!
Me: Guys, it's part of the story. Now chill out!
Val: *taking a deep breath and gritting out* Hmm, Dragon Folk. Interesting.
Me: Back at the Dragon Palace....
Amelia: *looking through a window, and squeals* Hey, check that out! There's a ship right below us!
Filia: *clapping hands together* Let's go down and check it out!
Lina: I'm game!
Amelia: But what about Daddy?
Lina: Oh, let him stew! *to Alyson* Um, how are we going to get down there, anyway? Amelia and I can't transform, and if Filia does, then she'll be seen.
Me: Filia teleports, right?
Filia: Right....
Me: There you have it.
Filia: *sigh* Ok, you two grab my hands and hang on. I'm going to teleport us to a place where we can see them, but they can't see us.
Amelia and Lina: *grabbing Filia's hands* Ok!
Me: Filia teleported down to a small ledge on the ship, where they could watch the people without being seen.
Amelia: Cool seats!
Lina: Yeah, I have to agree, this is a nice spot.
Filia: *grin* Thanks!
Amelia: *suddenly yelling* Ooo, look at him!
Filia: *looks and sees Gourry* What about him? His hair's kinda like mine....
Amelia: Not him, the guy with blue skin!
Lina: *spotting Zel* Him?
Amelia: Yes! *sighs* Isn't he cool looking?
Lina: I dunno, I kinda like the looks of the tall blond over there.
Filia: *spotting Val* Oh wow, what about the guy with the horn?
Amelia and Lina: HE'S HORNY?!
Val: O_O ALYSON!!
Me: Yes?
Val: What the *^%# kinda dialogue is that?!
Me: I call it cute. Now get on with it, you're not supposed to be able to hear them.
Zel: *walking over the stand above the girls heads, then blushes when he hears Amelia sigh* Your Highness, when will you choose the right one to settle down with?
Amelia: *jumping up* But I've already chosen the right one!
Me: Amelia, he wasn't talking to you!
Zel: *mega blush*
Amelia: *slight blush* Whoops.... *sits back down*
Val: *walking over to stand next to Zel* I dunno, whenever I find her, I guess.
Filia: *soft sigh*
Gourry: *walking up to join them* What are you two talking about?
Zel: Prince Val's lack of a bride.
Gourry: Oh. Well, I'm sure he'll know when he finds her.
Zel: Oh? And how would you know this?
Gourry: Cause I heard him say so. And besides, don't you usually get hit by lightning when you find the right one?
Me: As if his words were a prophecy for what was to come, the sky suddenly lit up with lightning, as a storm began to move in. The crew of the ship set about to secure the rigging, sails, etc., but then, the most terrifying image appeared....
Zel: *pointing over the railing* OH, L-SAMA, IT'S A WATER SPOUT!!
Gourry: WE'RE DOOMED!
Filia: *to Alyson* Don't you think that was a bit melodramatic?
Me: Got any better ideas?
Filia: Not really....
Me: The three dragon maidens clung to the ship with all their might, as they watched the large, funnel-shaped water spout swoop towards them.
Amelia: This is worse than when you created that tsunami with your Dragon Slave, Lina!
Lina: If my hands were free, I'd hurt you!
Me: Suddenly, the waterspout was upon them, and it picked up the tiny ship like a toy and began to hurl it through the air!
Gourry: *eyes getting glassy* I'm gonna hurl through the air in a minute...*hic*
Lina: GOURRY, IF YOU BARF ON US I'LL KILL YOU!
Gourry: O.O *grabs mouth* Ooooo......
Lina: AHHH! FIREBALL! *fries Gourry*
Me: Gourry was knocked unconscious by Lina's fireball, saving everyone from a potential mess.
Girls: EW!
Me: About that time, Zel got hit in the head with a flying cannonball....
Zel: Can cannonballs fly?
Me: If they're being hurled around by a twister, yes.
Zel: *falls over unconscious*
Val: Zel, Gourry! Hang on!
Me: Val tried desperately to save his friends and comrades, but in the end, they were all hurled over the railing, and plunged towards the ocean below, Val hitting his head on the railing as he went over, thus knocking him for a loop.
Amelia: ZELGADIS! *hurls herself off her perch and goes flying (falling?) after him. Lina follows after Gourry, and they both grab the unconscious men*
Lina: *clutching Gourry, and looking at Alyson* Now what?!
Dragon Filia: ROAR!! *swoops down, and catches Lina/Gourry, Zel/Amelia on her back, and grabs Val in her hands* Don't worry, I'll get us to safety!
Amelia: Nice timing, Filia!
Lina: *eyes sightly crossed* Coulda come a little faster, you know....
Filia: Sorry, following the script.
Me: Filia flew to the nearest shore, which just happened to be Val's kingdom, and sat her passengers down on the sand.
Amelia: Zelgadis looks like a drowned fish! Do you think he's all right?
Lina: I'm sure he's fine, Amelia.
Filia: I think he's breathing.
Amelia: But...maybe we should give him mouth to mouth. What do you think?
Lina: *sigh* Whatever.
Amelia: Ok!
Zel: *blushes and begins to grin again, only nothing happens* Mmmm?
Filia: *holding a mirror to Zel's mouth* See? Told you he was breathing! This steam on the mirror proves it.
Zel: *grunts slightly*
Filia: *gazing at Val's face* He's so cute.....
Val: *shifts a bit*
Gourry: *groans*
Lina: They're waking up! We gotta go!
Amelia: No, I don't wanna!
Filia: *grabs Lina and Amelia just as the guys' eyes open, and teleports*
Zel: *sitting up and groaning* Oh man, what hit me?
Gourry: *still lying supine on the ground* A large cannonball.
Val: Ugh, I feel like a drowned rat. *wrings water out of his hair*
Gourry: Hey, guys? I had the weirdest dream. I dreamed that three girls saved us, and one of them had red hair and fireballed me.
Zel: I had the same dream, only one of the girls was talking about giving me mouth to mouth *turns red and mutters* and she didn't follow through this time, either. Damn.
Val: I think we were seeing things, because the girl I remember had a tail with a pink bow on the end.
Zel and Gourry: A TAIL?!
Zel: Now I know we were dreaming.
Val: *looking into the distance* Yeah, but what if the dreams were real? I'd marry that girl in a heartbeat. She saved my life.
Zel and Gourry: *nod nod*
Me: Back at the Dragon's Palace.....
Filia: That was close! Though I wouldn't have minded if they had seen us.
Lina: Yeah, me too. Though jellyfish brains probably wouldn't have remembered us.
Amelia: *looking worried* I just hope that Daddy doesn't find out....
Phil: *walking up* Find out what?
Girls: *jumping* EEK!
Lina: *to Alyson* Eek? Eek?! Couldn't you be more original than that?!
Me: Well, I coulda had you scream, KOLA KOLA KYAA!
All: *face fault*
Me: *sweat drop* I was kidding......
Filia: *sweat drop* Find out nothing, Dad!
Lina: Yeah, we're just playing a game!
Amelia: *backing away* If you'll excuse us... *the three hightail it outta there*
Phil: *scratching his head* That was weird.....
Me: The three dragon girls ran to Filia's room, and collapsed on the beds.
Lina: *phew* That was close!
Amelia: I hate not telling Daddy, though.
Filia: You know what he'll say if we did tell him.
Amelia: Yeah, I know.
Me: Having resolved that, the three set about to plan their course of action.
Lina: You make it sound like we're going to war.
Me: In a way, you are.
Amelia: I really want to see Zelgadis again, you guys....
Lina: I know what you mean, but we need to be human in order to see them again.
Filia: *reading ahead, and turning pale* I am NOT going to suggest this!
Me: Yes, you are.
Filia: No, I'm not! *folds arms*
Me: I'll cut you off from my stash of Earl Grey Tea.
Filia: *gulps* It's risky, but there is a way we can become human.
Amelia and Lina: How?
Filia: We go see that enchanter *gag* Xelloss...
Amelia and Lina: XELLOSS??!!
Xel: *popping in* Someone call?
Girls: AHHH!
Xel: *giggle* I still have it! ^_^ So, I understand my services are needed.
Filia: Who needs the services of Raw Garbage like you?
Xel: *twitch*
Me: Filia.........
Lina: *rolling her eyes* Yes, we would like to become human.
Xel: Hmmm, interesting request. Ok, I can do that.
Amelia: You can?
Filia: *giving him a suspicious look* What's the price?
Xel: Oh, nothing much, really.
Filia, Lina, and Amelia: *glaaaare*
Xel: *giggle* Just your virginity.
All but Xel: WHAT??!!
Filia: *hauling out the mace* COME NEAR ME AND I'LL SHOVE THIS DOWN YOUR THROAT!
Lina: *powering up* DON'T YOU TOUCH ME YOU FRUITCAKE!
Amelia: *eyes wide and powering up* STAY AWAY!
Gourry: *drawing the Sword of Light* YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY LINA!
Lina: WHO SAID I WAS YOURS?!
Val: &^$##$%#$@$%^$%^$&^%^$%$#$@#$@#$@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zel: *folding arms and looking bored* Don't you think you should tell them the real price?
Me: All right, that's enough. Xelloss, follow the script.
Xel: *giggle* You guys have the best reactions!
Zel: SMF
All: SMF?!
Zel: Sadistic Masochist Fruitcake
All: Ooooh.
Xel: I demand payment from each one of you. Filia, it's your ability to transform; Lina, it's your hair color and powers; and Amelia, your payment is your voice.
Filia, Lina, and Amelia: WHAT?!
Amelia: But how will I talk to him?
Lina: How will I fry jellyfish brains?!
Filia: NO!
Me: It's part of the story, guys, so deal.
Girls: DEAL THIS! *barrage Alyson with Ra Tilts, Blam Blazers, Fireballs, Mace Throwing, and Dragon Slaves*
Me: *quite crispy around the edges* Thanks, I was getting kinda cold. *cough*
Girls: *sulky* Fine, we'll do it.
Xel: *waves his staff, and Filia's tail vanishes, Lina's hair turns white, and Amelia can no longer speak* There you go! Now, you have to have these guys kiss you in three days, or you'll turn back into dragons and belong to me.
Filia: You didn't mention that before!
Xel: Oops! It must have slipped my mind! Bye! *poofs out, and the girls suddenly appear on a beach*
Lina: *looking around* That little fruitcakey mazoku, just wait till I get my hands on him....
Amelia: *moving hands indicating a violent death*
Filia: That RAW GARBAGE!
Girls: LET'S GET HIM! *take off trying to find Xelloss*
Me: Um, while I try yet again to get my cast under control, please enjoy this commercial brought to you by one of our sponsors, Chimera Cookies.
Amelia's voice: Have a craving for cookies but not wanting any of the standard types? Then try Chimera Cookies! Each cookie is made by hand, using only the freshest ingredients, with a little something special added for uniqueness.
Scene: Lina's sitting at a table, drooling, while Zel appears and puts down a plate of light blue cookies in front of her. Each cookie is dotted with chips of an even darker blue. Lina digs in enthusiastically, while a chibi Zel appears on the table next to her plate.
SD Zel: Nothing says cookie like my homemade Chimera Cookies!
Lina: Hey, check out the little action figure! *pokes Zel in the stomach*
SD Zel: Dammit, don't touch me!
Me: Welcome back! When we left, the three dragon maidens had been turned into humans at a rather high price...
Girls minus Amelia: He's gonna die....
Me: And the guys were still wondering how they survived the water spout. We find them now walking along a stretch of beach that our girls just happen to have been dropped onto...
Val: I tell you, it wasn't a $#$#@@#!$ dream!
Zel: And I think that we all just hallucinated.
Val: All three of us having the exact same hallucination. Right....
Gourry: But it wasn't the same, remember? We all saw three different girls.
Zel: *snort*
Gourry: Seriously, though, sometimes exposure to the elements can cause one's brain functions to go haywire, producing hallucinations that can be very similar amongst victims of the exact same exposure, with little differences to mark them apart.
All: *staaaaarrrreeee*
Gourry: What?
Val: So, the three girls we saw were all different nuances of our individuality?
Gourry: Yep.
Zel: Since when did you develop a brain, Gourry?
Gourry: Huh?
Zel: *sigh* Never mind.
Val: So now I'm guessing that those three girls up ahead are all more figments of our imagination?
Zel: *peering ahead* No, they're real, all right.
Gourry: What are we waiting for? Damsels in distress! *takes off at a run, with Val and Zel close behind him.*
Lina: Here they come.
Filia: *fussing with hair* Do I look all right?
Amelia: *shaking hands a bit before wringing them*
Lina: I know you're nervous, Amelia, but it'll be all right.
Val: *reaching the girls first* Hello, I'm Prince Valgarv, and this is my beach. Are you in trouble?
Filia: Why, yes, we are.
Lina: This is so pathetic....
Amelia: *eyes getting starry as she sees Zel come up*
Zel: What seems to be the problem?
Gourry: Geez, can't you guys be a little more like gentlemen? I'm Gourry Gabrieve and HOLY L-SAMA! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR, LINA?!
Lina: *groan* Gourry, it's for the story. It's all right.
Gourry: *not looking very convinced*
Amelia: *tries to pantomime that they're in big trouble, manages to go off balance, and falls over, only to be caught by Zel*
Zel: Careful, now.
Amelia: *gazes at Zel, then throws her arms around him in a hug, causing the chimera to blush*
Val: Just who are you, anyway?
Filia: I'm Filia, and they are my sisters, Lina and Amelia.
Gourry: When did you guys become sisters?!
Lina: Gourry...give it up and just follow the script!
Gourry: *scratching the back of his head* Ok!
Zel: *still holding Amelia* What are you three doing here?
Filia: We're the three girls who saved your lives in the water spout!
Me: Um...
Lina: *before I can stop her* And we've been placed under a curse so that we no longer look...
Filia: *indicating Amelia* Or sound....
Lina: Like the girls you met before!
Me: Guys....
Val: But... *get's elbowed by Filia, sees her grin, and grins back* How can we help you damsels in distress?
Amelia: *pantomimes a kiss*
Me: Hold on....
Gourry: We have to kiss you?
Lina: Yep!
Me: *finally losing it* HOLD IT RIGHT NOW!
All minus Amelia: Yeeeesss???
Me: You're not following the script! You're not supposed to tell them who you are!
Lina: *sly look* Should have had Xelloss take all our voices.
Me: *splutter*
Xel: *popping in* My, my, looks like they found a plot hole in your story, Alyson.
Me: *sputter sputter*
Filia: Come on, hurry before she gets her voice back and stops us!
Guys: *exchange looks*
Amelia: *gives an exasperated sigh and grabs Zel's face, giving him a hearty kiss on the mouth, to which the chimera responds, and then blushes big time* Zel, wanna know something?
Zel: *blush* W-what?
Amelia: You're a good kisser.
Zel: *goes purple and passes out*
Amelia: *now sitting on Zel's chest* What did I say?
Gourry: *eyes Lina* You're not gonna fireball me or anything, are you?
Lina: Oh for crying out loud! *uses Gourry's long, blond locks as leverage, and kisses him. Instantly her hair returns to red, and she tosses a fireball in the ocean* All right!
Val: *gazing at Filia*
Filia: *gazing at Val*
Lina: HURRY UP!! ALYSON'S SPUTTERING IS STARTING TO SLOW DOWN!
Val: *kisses Filia*
Filia: *kisses Val, and her tail pops out*
Xel: *giggling* They pulled a nice one over you this time.
Me: T-that was low! How dare you mess with my stories!
Lina: Well, this one was taking unusually long, so we thought we'd speed things up a bit.
Phil: *appearing* WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
Syl: *appearing also* Now, now, your highness...your blood pressure....
Phil: I WILL NOT LET ANY DAUGHTERS OF MINE STAY WITH THESE RUFFIANS!
Zel: *waking up* I resent that.
Syl: Come come, your highness, they're obviously *choke* in *gag* love... *eyes tear up* OH GOURRY! *flees in tears*
Me: That...wasn't supposed to happen.... *takes off after Sylphiel*
Phil: *looking confused* Um, well, since that's the case, you can stay.
All: *cheers*
Me: *returns* Hey, guys?
All: *looks of fear* What?
Me: What do you think about trying to set up Hallace and Sylphiel?
Lina: Hallace? That guy who Kali tried to swindle?
Amelia: Oh yeah! The rich guy you pretended to marry! He's certainly nice enough.
Filia: Who's Hallace, and why did Lina pretend to marry him?
Gourry: It's a long story...
Lina: And I'm surprised you remember it.
Zel: Have I heard this one?
Lina: I don't think so.
Me: Ok, while we're all speculating about Hallace and Sylphiel, I'll end the story with they lived happily ever after. So, until next time!
All: NEXT TIME?! AAHHHHH!!
Lina and Gourry: *go chibi and grab my notebook, taking off with it, while Filia transforms and flies above them* LET'S GO!
Me: GIVE ME THAT BACK! *goes SD and starts to chase after them swinging a HUGE mallet, with a chibi Amelia running after me trying to stop me, while Zel sighs, and takes off after all of us, backwards*