14 Years

14 years. I have been married to him for 14 years. What ever made me think that I could spend the rest of my life with a man like that. Sure, he's nice, and he has got one great body. The sex is pretty good too. That's it. We have hardly anything in common. Even if I try to talk about adventures we were on together, he still has no clue. Yogurt for brains.

I can't take it anymore. I have to get out of this marraige. It would break his heart, but, I'm going to go insane! I need someone to talk to. Someone who will understand what I'm saying when I talk to him. Sometimes I think I should never have said yes. I would leave, but ...

Mirai Gabriev. Our beautiful twelve year old daughter. How would she be affected if I left. We have to stay together for her. I love sitting down with her and brushing her long blond hair while she tells me about everything that she had done that day. I guess I have her to talk to. It's just not the same though.

I thought about running away last night. Just packing up and leaving while they were both asleep. I would leave a note, and of course I would come back .. someday. But then, I looked into Mirai's room and saw her sleeping and I knew I couldn't do that to her. I love her. I love Gourry too. What am I going to do?!

"Hey Lina. What's up?"

It's been 14 years of silence

"I love you Lina."

It's been 14 years of pain

"What are we going to do today Lina?"

It's been 14 years that are gone forever

I miss the old days.

And I'll never have again

I know she's upset. It's not my fault I don't alway understand what she is talking about. She spends more and more time in her workroom these days. We don't talk much anymore. I don't blame her.

I am scared though. I think I'm losing her. Last night, I noticed her packing her things like she was about to leave. She left the room .. and came back a few minutes later. That was a close one. She tore up the note she had written and came back to bed. She sleeps facing away from me these days.

I think the only reason she hasn't left yet is Mirai. The only time I see Lina smile anymore is around her. I wish I could make Lina smile again. I'm glad that she wants to stick around for Mirai, but I think it would be better if she left. If she got back out into the world again, she might get to be happy once more.

Give me a whisper

"Gourry, what's wrong?"

And give me a sigh

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye

I love you Lina. If it's the best thing for you. We should part before things get worse.

Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinking of you
And the times we had ... Baby

What's wrong with Mom and Dad? They don't talk much anymore. They hardly even look at eachother. I hope it's nothing serious. Mom seems upset. She's always hiding away in her workroom and when she doesn't think I'm listening, I sometimes hear her cry. Of course when she's around me, she puts on a smile and pretends that everything is okay. I know better. And Dad, he just watches. He always looks so sad ... and sometimes a little scared.

I remember when I was little. Everything was perfect. We went on picnics almost every day. Mom and Dad couldn't stop smiling. At night after dinner we would all sit in the livingroom, me on Daddy's lap, and listen to Mom tell stories about when they used to travel the world. Sometimes the monsters in the stories would scare me and Daddy would put his arms around me. I always felt safe with him, I knew he would protect me. We were happy then.

Now. Now I don't know what to do. Somehow, I feel that I'm to blame for the problems. I have the feeling that Mom wants to leave, but she won't leave because of me. I don't want her to be unhappy. Maybe they need some time alone. To find what made them fall in love in the first place. Mom and Dad should go traveling together again. I know they don't want to leave me alone, so I'll go and stay with Auntie Amelia. That's a good plan. Tonight I'll tell them, at dinner.

The Gabriev family sat down to a quiet dinner that night. Actually, it had been quiet dinners for quite some time. Lina and Gourry still ate as much as they did in their traveling days, but nowhere near their past gusto. Mirai sat and watched her parents eat. Her red eyes drifting over from one to the other. She noticed that neither of them looked up from their plates during the meal. She had long since finished her plate and she was waiting for them to finish theirs before stating her brilliant plan.

"Hey Mom, Dad, can I go and stay with Auntie Amelia for a while?"

Lina, quick to please her little girl, "Sure, any particular reason?"

"Yeah. I figure that if you and Daddy have some time alone, you guys will fix whatever the problem is."

The two parents looked at eachother. Neither had realized that their little girl knew about their problems. Not wanting to worry her further, Lina decided to play along. "That sounds like a great idea. When do you want to leave?"

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you 'cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view


14 Years -- Guns N' Roses -- Use Your Illusion II

Don't Cry -- Guns N' Roses -- Use Your Illusion I

Scar Tissue -- Red Hot Chili Peppers -- Californication