Chapter Two: Kalis Takes Over The World

Zachary: Welcome back to the Chaos Saga. Kalis is a little 'tied up' at the moment, so the rest of us will be handling the show.

[In the backround we see Kalis gagged and tied to the chair. She doesn't look too happy.]

Celes: Really, I know she kicked us out last time, but that's no reason to tie her up. [She walks over and unties Kalis.]

Kieran: (walking in) I found the duct tape! ... Oh, she's .. loose..

[Without a word, Kalis begins chase of her prey.]

Kalis: Kieran! Get back here! I know this was your idea!!

[Okay, with a few words.]

Zachary: Well, like I said, we'll be handling things today.

Celes: Zachary, don't you think we should try to help?

Zachary: Help who?

[Zelgadis bravely ventures forth from his room once again. The moment he was spotted, Kalis quit chasing her prey and tried to get a piggy-back ride from Zel.]

Zelgadis: Will you please let me go home today?

Kalis: Silly rock boy, this is your home.

Zelgadis: No, it isn't. You are keeping me prisoner here remember. Kalis are you even listening to me?

[Actually she's not. Xellos had just phazed in and she was attempting (successfully) to get a piggy-front ride from him.]

Xellos: Hello Kali-chan. What are we going to do tonight.

Kalis: The same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world!! [strikes flashy 'pointing to the air' pose]

Celes: Kalis, do you really think Mother would approve of something like that?

Kalis: I don't see why not. Sounds like fun, I think we should go for it. Ready Xellos?

Xellos: Ready!

Kalis: Ready Zelgadis?

Zelgadis: Hell no!

Kalis: Good. Let us go!!

::And now a word from .. that commercial type voice guy. Voice: Have you been turned into a chimera? Are you tired of that stony skin and wire hair? Do people run and hide in fright at the sight of you? Does it bother you when your friends use you as an anchor? Fear no longer, with Chimera Cure you can be raking in the hunnies in no time. Remember Chimera Cure, so you don't sink like a rock.::

Zelgadis: Yes!! Did you hear the number for that?

Kalis: The number for what?

Xellos: Sorry, we weren't paying attention.

Zelgadis: NOOooo!!

Kalis: Okay people, back to work.

[Much whispering ensues as the group works the kinks out of their plan to take over the world. Zelgadis is sitting on the ground moping with a doggy leash tieing him to Kalis.]

Xellos: Don't we need a chicken to do that one?

Kalis: Not that one. The other plan to take over the world.

Xellos: Oh~h. That plan to take over the world. Let's do it.

Kalis: Right! Come on puppy.

[Kalis leads Zelgadis by his leash as the three scheemers continue on their journey. Just a little ways up the road, Amelia leaps down from a tree and lands on ... her feet!]

Amelia: I actually did it? I wonder how I managed that.

Zelgadis: Amelia, save me. You gotta get me away from these maniacs.

Kalis: Bad puppy. [she whacks him on the nose with a newspaper] You shouldn't try to run away.

Amelia: What was I going to say again? Oh yeah. [pointing at Kalis and Xellos] Stop you evil doers. It is unjust to take over the world. I, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun will not allow this unjusticeness go on any longer.

Xellos: Kalis, did you forget your All Purpose Earplugs again?

Kalis: [drawing her sword back from where she ran it through the princess] Oh yeah, I sorry, I forget again.

Zelgadis: Damn, there goes my hopes of rescue.

Kalis: Do you really think that it would be better being stuck with her than being stuck with me?

Zelgadis: I guess you're right.

[The trio finally reaches their destination ... The World Restraunt. Busting in the door..]

Kalis: Okay, we're taking over this place, see. I don't want any trouble from none of ya's, see. (whispering to Xellos) Now, hand me the chicken.

Xellos: You said we were going to do the other plan. Not the one that needed a chicken.

Kalis: Oh, right. (to the restraunt owner) Sorry about that. We forgot our chicken so we won't be able to take over The World today. We'll try again some other time.

[The group then transports back to the Realm of Chaos. There they find Celes lounging with Marron Glace, one of the bishounen from Kalis' closet and Kieran and Zachary are having a tea party in the corner.]

Kalis: ~Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.~

Zelgadis: Please, do not ever sing again.

Kalis: Waaaahhhh.

[The boys in the corner, realizing that Kalis is back, quickly change out of their frilly dresses and hide away the tea party stuff.]

Kieran: How'd you manage to cut us out of the story again?

Kalis: Easy, with these. [she holds up a large pair of scissors] They were a gift from Mother. [the scissors vanish]

LoN: How dare you try to take over The World. I didn't approve of that little trip of yours. You're not getting your scissors back until ... I feel like it.

Kalis: Would a trip into my Closet O' Bishounen help?

LoN: Okay! ^_^

Kalis: Ahh, the pressures of being an Angel. Xellos, Zelgadis, come.

Zelgadis: No.

Xellos: When will he learn he doesn't have a choice?

Zelgadis: Someone, help?

::This was brought to you by Chimera Cure. For all your stony needs.::

Zelgadis: Where is it?!!

Chapter 3   |   Fanfiction