The song is Perfect by Alanis Morissette-sama; from her CD Jagged Little Pill.
sometimes it's never enough
if you're flawless, then you'll win my love
don't forget to win first place
don't forget to keep that smiel on your face
Ever since he was child it had been like this. The angry words, the painful barbs that dug deeper then he let on.
"He's a weakling! How can he be my son?!" Zelgadis flinched as his father's voice rose. "He's pathetic, a weakling that will never amount to antthing! Nothing I tell you, nothing!" Zelgadis blinked rapidly and didn't look up as his mother, Yanna hugged him.
"Don't listen to him Zelly, he's just angry because the school is failing." Zelgadis nodded jerkily and relaxed slightly as Yanna soothed him with practiced ease. "If we don't win the compatition, then he might have to close."
"Don't defend him mom, and don't defend me! I don't need your help." Zelgadis insited wiping the tears before they could fall. Yanna blinked, pain filling her blue eyes.
"Zelly."
"Stop calling me that!" Zelgaiuds snarled and sprang away form her breathing hard. "I don't want to hear anymore! I'm tired of it all!" Zelgadis ran past his mother and ran out the door grabbing his sword as he did. Old habits died hard after all.
be a good boy
try a little harder
you've got to measure up
and make me prouder
"Again!" Zelgadis' father barked whapping him the flat of his blade. Zelgadis blinked the dust form his eyes nursing his bruised back. "Again! I said again!" Aeigan Greyweres cried raising his sword threateningly and Zelgaids weakly brought his sword up bracing himself for his father's next furious onslaught. Aeigan fell on Zelgadis and his smile became more and more feral as his only son fought back. He saw the anger in the boy and he tried to draw it out.. Anger was a good weapon, his own father had taught him that. It was how he had been taught and if it was good enough for him it was good enough for his weakling son wasn't it?
how long before you screw it up
how many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
with everything I do for you
the least you could do is keep quiet
Zelgadis laid his bed trying not to whimper as pain flared through his body. He had to get stronger, her had to please Father, he had to.
"I will be stronger, I will." He swore to himself. Zelgadis whimpered and shovered his hand into his mouth trying to muffle his sobs. If his father heard him weeping like a maid he would earn another beating. He wasn't fast enough, he was never fast enough. No matter how hard he tried he was never fast enough to dodge his father's blows.. Yes he had to get stronger, stonger and faster.. And mayeb, just maybe then his father would be proud of him.
be a good girl
you gotta try a little harder
that simply wasn't good enough
to make us proud
"You call that a defensive position?!" Aeigan sneered. "I've seen pigs that could defend their slop better then that!" Zelgadis ground his teeth. "Weak! You are weak and pathetic. You are never going to leave this backwater town! You'll never be worthy of the man Greyweres!" Aeigan was now nose to nose with Zelgadis, his breath foul on the youth's face. "When I was your age I was a member of the sity guard in the holy city Sairaag it's self. But you, you can barely hold a sword.
"I'm trying sir." Zelgaids said in a small voice, all rebellion fleeing him
"Well your best is not good enough, it never is and it never will be." Aeigan sneered and backed up. He turned around and walked out of the practice arena leaving Zelgadis there. The lavender haired youth sniffled and fought his tears of shame.
"I will be strong, I will!" he whimpered his hand tightening on the hilt of his sword.
"I'll become strong and be the best swordsman there ever was! I will." Zelgaids glared down at his blade. He watched the sunlight flash across the steel like quicksilver and his eyes hardened. He would become strong and show his father. He'd show them all!
i'll live through you
i'll make you what I never was
if you're the best, then maybe so am i
compared to him, compared to her
i'm doing this for your own damn good
you'll make up for what i blew
what's the problem....why are you crying
Zelgadis snuck out of the house one night, years later., his pride in tatters after his father's latest assault on his. His heavy sword banged against his thigh as he raced through the familier undergrowth; his father's insults ringning in his ear But the worst was his mother's "explainations" on why his father was like that; Zelgadis snorted in disgust.
"Like I'm supposed to believe that he is doing this for my own good." He thought bitterly as he begain practicing. He had to get stronger. He had to get out of this town, had to esacpe any means possible. And since he had no talant for magick like his grandfather Rezo, he had to become the best swordsman around. Maybe then he could gain a post in Sairaag or something, anything to get out of here. "I have to become strong." That litany of thought ran through Zelgadis' mind as he continued to swing his sword; it's whistling song filling his ears. The deathsong as his father called it, it was beautiful sound. Zelgadis chastisied himself for allowing his thoughts to wander and concentrating on his form. Zelgadis' sword suddenly plowed into a fallen log and he froze, his breath heaving from exhaustion. The pale youth attempted to pull his sword free, but it wouldn't budge. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind, how he was going to get his sword free. What his father would do to him if he found out he had snuck out of the house. Zelgadis's eyes widened in panick and he desperately tried to pull his sword free and thus didn't hear the soft melodic chimes of the rings on a stave. Zelgadis looked up sudeenly when a soft voice purred.
"Hello Zelgadis...."
be a good boy
push a little farther now
that wasn't fast enough
to make us happy
we'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect