I wander through the woods with Gourry,Lina, and everyone else, as we all search for Ameria. Though, I would never admit, I'm really worried, and what's even more worse..it's my fault she ran off.
Lina was very angry at me, but not as angry as I was at myself.Right now, I wish it never had happened.I sigh, she had been hanging off of my arm like she always does,and once again,she told everyone how much she cared about me and I told her that I didn't care, that the feelnig was not mutaul.
Usually, she would pay no attention to the remark, but this time..it was different. Instead,she pulled away from me, and screamed "Why do you hate me!?", then ran off.The very second those words escaped her lips,My heart shattered. I still hear her screaming out that sentence, looking at me with those innocent, hurt eyes.
I hated that look she gave me.When she screamed those words, I was speechless, had I really acted that cold towards her?
Everyone thinks that I hate her, or at least not like her that much. At first, I guess it was partly true, but, even then..she was so high in spirit, I just couldn't HATE her. then she got a,I guess you could say "crush" on me, and..even though I didn't act like it..for some reason it didn't bother me.
All the times she had done those speeches, told me she cared for me, and hung off of my arm, everyone would say You were crazy if you told them this ,but, I LOVED it. Her speeches were usually really stupid, but, they were kinda cute too. I'd usually sigh when she tells me how much she cares for me, but on the inside,every time, my heart begins to race. I wish I hadn't been so mean to her earilier, but, I couldn't help it. It was the only thing I could say to keep myself from saying how I truly felt...
I'm always was happy she says that she cares, I often want to say "I love you too", but I just couldn't...I so wanted to say I loved her, sometimes it's so hard not to tell her, my whole heart and soul aches with pain. I don't confess my love, because I don't want to burden her with me, a hideous monster like myself. I very well know she doesn't care how I look(another reason I love her,she looked beyond my face,and looked into my heart) but...she deserves better.
Anyone who has ever met me would probaly call me heartless, and say that all I cared for was finding a cure, before I met Ameria, it was probably true, but now... she is my reason for living, for wanting a cure. I want to tell her how I feel, but not in this body.I know very well that one day we'll all run into someone who will realize how wonderful Ameria really is, and sweep her off of her feet, the thought of it scares me to death.
Me and everyone else hear quiet sobbing behind a bush, we all walk over there, and take a peak behind it, and sure enough,there is Ameria quietly sobbing, God I hate to see her looknig so sad and depressed.
Lina nudges me, and gives me an angry look, I look back, and sigh. I walk up to Ameria, and look into her eyes, My hearts once again breaks,she looks so hurt...because of me.I tell her that I don't hate her, and that I'm sorry. She doesn't say anything, but just stares into my eyes. God, I hope she forgives me. Ameria's sad face then turns into a slight smile, and she nods,I let my gaurd down and smile back,but only for a moment, long enough so that only she can see it. Soemtimes, I often sneak a glance, or a smile at her, I think she knows about them, but for some reason or another, chooses not to bring any attention to them. The whole bunch of us walk down the rode, Ameria was once again dangling from my arm cutely chattering non- stop about anything and everything. I grumble, but inside,I'm very pleased. We all stop for a quick rest, it's getting dark, but we have to keep going cause three's a town nearby, and I know by now that Lina would never pass up the chance for a nice warm bed.
Soon Lina announces that it's time to get going again, I get up, and start walknig, then I notice Ameria isn't anywhere to be seen. I look behind me as the rest of the group walk out of the area, and see Ameria's fallen asleep. I lovingly gaze at her sleeping form. In my eyes, she's not an annoying, whiney brat. In my eyes, she's a sweet, beatiful, fun to be with person whom I love dearly. I walk over to her, and decide that I'll let her sleep, she's had a ruff day.
I pick her up in my arms, and she leans her head against my chest, I'm glad she's sleeping, because,despite my stone skin, she'd still probably hear my thumpnig heart race. I start walking at an okay speed, so I can catch up to everyone, but still get some time to savour one of the few moments I have with Ameria, even if she is asleep, I'm still with her, near her, and it's just the two us.
As I walk, I see everyone standing there, and Lina angrily yells "C'mon Zel Get you're stony behind over here! I wanna get to the inn and get something to eat!" I rusn to them, holding Ameria in my arms, Gourry asks me if I'd rather he carry Ameria, as hard as it is for me, to not let anyone get suspicious of my true feelings, I accept.
When we reach the inn, we get settled in our assigned rooms, Gourry places Ameria on a bed in her and Lina's room. Everyone goes downstais to get something to eat, when Lina asks me to come along, I refuse, she tries to convince me to come, but I continue to say no. Finally, after a Fireball, Dil Brando, and a rumbling from her stomach, she then gives up, and runs downstairs saying something about more food for her.
I wait until she's out of view, then ever so queitly open the door to her and Ameria's room. She's still sleepnig,I kneel beside her bed, and runs my hand through her hair. As my hard-stone fingers leave her head, she just whimpers a bit, then continues to sleep.
I once agin gaze at her, smiling, my eyes filled with emotinon and I know it. I don't why, when, or how, but I WILL get cured...not so much as for me anymore, but for her. Right now, all I know is that I love her more than any words could ever describe. I lean forward, and kiss her forehead, she yawns, smiles and then rolls over. I chuckle, get up, and walk to the door, I steal one more glance at Ameria then close the door.
I lay in my bed, staring at th ceilnig, concentrating on trying to recall spells, and remebring the names of people who might be able to lead me to a cure. Gourry who has gotten back from his midngiht "snack", lays down on the bed on the other side of the room that he's sleeping in, and suggests that I go to sleep. I tell him that's the best idea he's had all day, and he smiles, lays down, and is out like a light. I sigh is frustration. I quickly recover, lay down, and close my eyes. The second I close my eyes, I can see one thing, and one thing only, her sweet, gentle face.
Ameria Wil Tesla Saillune, no matter what, in my heart, I know that I was indeed born soley to be with... you, no matter what anyone says, I know,that I love you!
Okay, all flames, which I'm probably gonna get for writing this, can go to me, Min Chan, at mindyb@norcom.mb.ca Right now,you're probably thinknig, Min, what the H-E-double hockey sticks are you thinking about? How could you do a fic like that?
Also, in case you hadn't figured it out, the nararator is Zelgadis, I know..I know, he's always acting annoyed, but I think he DOES like her and this fic just makes me feel better when he's mean to her.^_^