Hey everyone I was just wonderin if some of this stuff was gettin through! Here's Xellos! Take it away...
teacher look Hello everybody. Well this is my way to eating lunch. If you can succesfully do all these things than you are on your way to being a fruitcake!
This will be a short walkthrough of how to eat lunch, then youll have some extra credit things to do. Ready? lets go...
First off - picking out which food to eat. I suggest getting the most disgusting things you can find. That way when you find a place to sit you can ask others to smell your food to see if it good. When the bend over to smell it...(WHAP) hit 'em with that staff of yours (If you dont carry a staff around you could always grab someone else's staff). Now if you wanna ask the question "what if I have a staffles school?" Don't worry they can be constructed easily by the forks interlocked together. This is crude but effective.
Second-paying for the food. When you come to the register talk in pig-latin and see if the receptionist can pick up on it. When giving her the money you have two choices now. Give her either a 100 dollar bill(if you can get your hands on it) or you can give her 1000 pennies and hope she knows how to count. Bonus points for people who pour some kind of liquid on the floor. This way when people will come by and slip. While they do this you can rape them(bishies only). Now that you have payed for lunch your off to the lunchroom!
The lunchroom can be a very dangerous and very painful place to be...Perfect for me! This part will be divided into sections:
Finding a seat-Here you will need to survey your options. ex. You have an empty seat next to the chearleaders, the jocks, the geeks, and the insane sorceresses, the dumbest swordsman in school, an unussually busty young girl, and a guy made of stone! Decisions decisions decisions... First off try every one before makeing a permanent decision. Go up to the cheerleaders and ask them if you can sit down. If they say yes then thats good keep it going. Next ask if they have an epidermus. If so much as one says no then leave! Jocks. Here a a group of guys who are just as smart as the cheerleaders, only dumber! First off ignore all questions from them related to;wrestling, music, girlfreinds, anything that comes out of their mouths. In fact stay away from them all together. Finally make the decision you should have made first. You guessed it!
acceptance from the group - hey! what are you wearing? nice pants, nice shirt and a tie? Well take it all of and put on some lingerai. This way if you are not accepted you will be by the jocks! Now go up to one of them and ask if they can sit down. If no-one answears then assume that they said yes. Now you have to establish a strong bond of freindship. One way is to try to bond with them pleasurefully! NOTICE! do not try to pleasurly try bondage with them! Maybe tomorrow. ask them all questions. WARNING! DO NOT ask any small, flat chested scorcerresses why their freind has a much bigger bosum than her. This could result in instant fireball! But if you are like me then yeah go ahead. Pain=Pleasure. Hopefully you can keep up this pleasant conversation. If nessescary show your newfound freinds some of your talents. Now some people may not beleive me but swallowing a footlong hot-dog and then pulling it out in rapid movements is a very special talent. After entertaining your freinds ask to see some of their talents." Hey lets see how many volts of electricity I can take" would be an acceptable thing to try out.
Congradulations. your halfway there. Now if you can complete these simple tasks you will be a full blown fruitcake at the lunch table.
1. When trying to find a seat sit by a bunch of people and laugh uncontrollably. If they walk away it was never meant to be!
2. When eating lunch use the sword of light to halve your sandwich
3. Acctually eat the food you get
4. Laugh like Naga. You can do this anywhere but this is a great wide open space.
5. When walking around the lunchroom pretend your blind(Rezo won't mind). walk into people and have a napkin as your main meal.
6. Walk up to various people and ask them to mudwrestle you If they accept then its creativity time!
7.convince all your freinds to come to lunch dressed in their best sunday dresses.
8. Make little men out of your forks and act out plays. I prefer Shakespear but any that you could think of works. when a really dramatic scene comes make comments like "I wonder what will happen next." For the really good parts stand up on the table and recite your lines very loudly!
9. Replace your cola with a bottle of teqilla or two. Will you be able to remember what you just ate?
10. One word-bishies!
Thats all I may be back to teach other coarses. Ask and you shall receive!
Let's all hear it for Xelloss!
Elijah and Xelloss run off in a hurry
Well bye now.