Lights camera, action. The audience settles down, last minute changes are approved and all is going well. Sort of. It seems the host is a little reluctant to go on.
"I don't want to, this is stupid."
"Zel, you said you would now come out of there!" Demanded Lina.
Apparently Zelgadis has locked himself in his dressing room.
"NO!"
"Now what Lina? How do we get him out of there? We're on in 5" asked the intern
Don't worry. He may have locked himself in, but I can get him out."
"Oh, you have a key?"
"Better!"
"Whoa, look out!" At same time "!!!Flare arrow!!!"
All that's left of the door is some ash. Zel who had been leaning against the door was suddenly thrown across the room. Landing in the clothes rack, he quickly turned to stare at Lina.
"We're on in 3, get moving Stone-boy!"
Zel sighed in defeat.
Lina playing as Announcer: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Zelgadis Greywers show with your host Zelgadis Greywers."
Scene of Zelgadis getting pushed onto the stage in a black tux.
Zel brushing off nonexistent dust grumbles: I am only doing this for you Lina
To audience: "Hello and welcome to the Late Late show. As you have probably guessed I am your host
Zelgadis Greywers. Tonight we have a special guest. We will be having Gourry Gabriev on."
Lina in background: "Don't forget we will be having a mystery guest who we hope will become a regular."
Zelgadis: "Oh yes thank you for reminding me. Yes tonight we will reveal our own mystery guest to you all."
But first a word from our sponsor:
Thank you for subscribing to zellinaxeros@listbot.com
Goes back to show
Setting; Zel is sitting behind an oak desk with a newly sharpened sword in its sheath beside him. Hs next guest is about to appear. It Gourry the last time they had this dunce on the show Zel got a little banged up. It required 22 stitches to fix him up and tell me how do you stitch up a rock. For you see Gourry just happened to be showing of the Sword of Light when some newbie caterer walked behind the set with a bunch of food. In his eagerness to get at it, he knocked Zel over with the sword and made a new hole in the wall with it. Therefore, Zel is just a little bit nervous right now.
"Alright send in the clowns ah... I mean send in Mr. Gabriev.
Gourry walks out and the audience goes nuts. The girls who aren't falling over Zelgadis are falling over for Gourry. Zel stands but doesn't move away from his sword.
"Hello Mr. Gabriev, thank you for coming onto my show again." Zel shakes hands with Gourry.
"Hey Zelgonda haven't seen you in a while. What's going on here?" Gourry shades his eyes with his hand and looks past all the paraphernalia that incorporates a TV talk show.
Zelgadis left eye is twitching a little at the mispronunciation of his name. Combing his hand thorough his spiky hair, he resumed his seat. Mr. Clueless continues to stare at the audience while they stare at him. At this point Lina comes out with her favorite weapon. An industrial size frying pan. Perfect for scrambling brains. Giving Gourry a good whack on the head she drags him over to the chair. Dusting her hands she walks back behind the set.
The audience stares and the show breaks for a commercial.
Glomping is becoming one of the most popular, if chaotic, sports around.
Now back to the show.
Gourry is now paying (however painfully) attention to Zelgadis.
"So Gourry how long have you had the sword of light?"
"Well I would have to say (thinks about it), I would say a really long time.
Zel rolls his eyes and sighs. "Okay how long have been a swordsman?"
Repeat previous answer.
"Okay so tell me this how long would it take for you to inhale a tanker load of food?"
"Food?!? Where where?!?" Gourry lunges up and races to the back of the stage.
Zelgadis just looks and sighs at where the less then dense swordsman has gone.
"Well folks, I guess that's all from Mr. Gabriev. Okay Lina what's next?"
"We're in luck our mystery guest has arrived. And even better he has signed a contract for at least 25 shows with an option for more!"
"That's great. So hold on folks when we come back you will be introduced to our first and hopefully consistent mystery guest.
Break for commercial
Speed Demon when you just don't have enough time for everything.
We return early to the show so no one knows that we are here and can get the real scope on what's happening.
"Hey Lina how's the wheel coming?"
"Just chill dearie (in sarcastic voice). It will be ready in a few." Next you hear crashes, bangs and then Lina storming out.
Zel just takes it all in and waits for the show to begin. He then looks at camera one.
"Oh shit we're on! Ahh... haha welcome back. In just a few minutes our mystery guest arrives. To give you a hint I'll tell you this it's a love hate relationship with this person.
"Okay Zelgadis, everything is ready."
"Alright folks the moment you've all been waiting for the revealing of our mystery guest.
You hear drum rolls and trumpets and all sort of build up noise. Then the floor parts and big chains haul up a big platform. On the platform strapped up naked was a smiling Mazuko (and yes people one of the straps is covering up his little buddy.)
"Well now this is very interesting. And how are we all doing."
"Better then you will be in a minute." Zel mutters.
"Well, well isn't it my good old enemy Xelloss. How are you doing? Unwell I hope."
"Actually I'm..."
"Well you can talk in a minute right now onto important things."
We'll be back
Devil's Delight is now offering a brand new type of milkshake. It's called a Mazuko milkshake. It's positively evil in great taste.
We return
Everyone looks kind of shocked even Xelloss.
"Pretty lame commercials Stone Boy."
"Yeah, but they shell out lots of cash so they can do whatever they want."
Slight pause
"Well anyway onto the fun. You have graciously committed yourself to this part of the show."
"Yes I have. Now what am I supposed to be doing here?"
"You mean you don't know." Zel smiles evilly, for once he has the upper hand.
"So what will I be featuring in?"
"Didn't Lina tell you what we wanted you for?"
"She told me that if I did this it would bring great pleasure."
"Did she say to whom?"
"Well no, but I assumed it would be to her. She was pretty nice when she asked me. Moreover, I would do anything to please her. That is why I agreed to this table thing and the contract." Xelloss looks at Zel smugly.
Zelgadis doesn't like the look on Xelloss face so he decides its about time to pull his ace out.
"Xelloss would you like to meet my wife?"
"Hmm your wife, and what kind of women would marry a rock?"
"Well I'll tell you after this break."
Hey kids Wacky Macky here. Buy the newest sword around a genuine imitation of the sword of light.
Back to the show.
"Anyway where were we?" Asked Zel in a sly voice.
"You were about to show me the bimbo who was dumb enough to marry you Rocky." Xelloss looks at him and laughs hard.
"You do not want to make fun of my wife.'
"What you going to do? It's not fair to attack me while I'm strapped to this table."
"I'm not going to attach you but she might. She has quite a temper."
"Yeah sure, just haul the Bitch out."
"Okay, dear, would you come out here please?"
[As if you didn't see this one coming]
Lina walks out onto the stage. Her hands are behind her back trying (unsuccessfully) to hide the huge fireball forming. Xelloss still doesn't have a clue. He thinks Lina is just walking out.
"Well Zelly-boy, where is the old ball and ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...
"Fire ball"
Hurry, get the hoses, put it out before it spreads
We'll be right back.
Okay we're back. The smoke clears and you see a well-roasted Mazuko. All the straps that were holding him down are gone because of the fireball (I mean ALL the straps)
"Hey Lina what you do that for?"
"You called me a bitch."
"I did not. I called Stone-boys wife a bitch"
"Why you little bastard!" Lina raises her hands again. Zel quickly grabs them before she could do anything though.
"Lina just try to tell him not fry him. At least not yet."
"Oh alright. But I don't like him calling me a bitch."
"And I say again, I did not call you a...oh..."
"About time he got it." Smirked Zel
"What the hell. I keep good track of Lina. How did you get married without me knowing?" Xelloss is livid right now. In fact he is so mad that he doesn't realize he is still naked.
"Xelloss put some clothes on, that's disgusting, there's not even that much to look at" Lina quickly hands over his clothes.
Quickly getting dressed Xellos still is glaring daggers at Zelgadis.
"Now tell me how and when you got married!"
"Well that's all the time we have. Tune in next time when we might actually answer. In addition, we will be introducing a new game."