Craziness: Chapter Two


"They call this food? I've seen better at a homeless person's house!" Khan complained looking at the bar in Cold's diner. After he and his wife had gotten settled, they were surprised to see Cold not too far away, as if he were just dying to meet them. Khan was no fool. He knew Cold was there for some reason, he just didn't know what. He hadn't expected for Cold to invite them to dinner.

"Well, then don't eat it," Mulan said. "But as far as I know, you're stuck here with me till further notice." Mulan pushed her empty plate away from her and opened her purse. She took something out and gave it to her husband. "Here," she said, "eat this."

"Oh, COOL! A candy bar!" Khan quickly unwrapped his delight and ate it. "Oh, so chocolaty..."

"You're welcome, hun," Mulan said, smiling at her childish husband. He finished his bar and waited for more. But Mulan shook her head no. "Sorry, don't have anymore."

"Then what were you planning to eat?" Khan said with concern. He could practically hear her stomach growling.

"I'll eat something when we get back to the motel, so don't worry about me," Mulan assured.

"Oh, but that could be a long time, my dear," said a cold voice from behind her. Cold had come back with a plate full of food from the bar. It made Mulan's mouth water, but she wasn't that desperate. She would wait it out.

Cooler and Frieza came after their father, sitting on either side of him from across the table in front of Mulan and Khan. Frieza's plate was piled high, while Cooler's was respectably decent.

"I don't suppose you've met my sons," Cold said in his more trustworthy, soft voice. "This is Frieza" -- -Cold motioned to the Origin on the left, who was currently gobbling down food -- - "and this is Cooler" -- -he motioned to the one on the right, who was actually eating his food decently with a fork. He stopped to say hi and went back to eating.

"Uh, nice," Khan said seriously, "to meet you all. This is my wife Mulan and I am...well, just call me Khan. We won't be here that long."

"Oh, that's too bad," Cold began, "because it just so happens that a tournament's about to start here. Anyone can enter." He was talking to Khan, but he was saying it to get Mulan's attention. It worked.

"A tournament?! Where? We have to go!" she said, giving her husband puppy dog eyes.

"I know!" he got out of his chair and raced to the dining area's exit. He stopped and turned around. "Let's go!"

Mulan got out of her chair excitedly and started to run after her husband, knocking over one of Cold's waitresses as she went. The dish of pie the waitress had been carrying splattered all on her uniform.

Cold gave her an angry look, and she quickly scrambled to her feet and tried to pick up the mess with her hands. Mulan and Khan were already gone before Cold reached out a hand, formed a power ball and fired it at her for messing up dessert. Frieza and Cooler looked on as the power ball destroyed her, leaving nothing but some pie and ash of the victim. Cold then walked over to it and picked some up with his finger. He tasted it and smiled evilly.

"I can't believe he ate that," Cooler said, wrinkling his nose.

"I can!" Frieza said after he had licked his plate clean. "Waiter! Oh, waiter! Give me a new plate ‘cause I'm too lazy to get it myself. Burrp!"

"Can't you use good manners for once in your worthless, pathetic life?" Cooler asked his younger sibling.

"Hmm, let me think."

"Well?"

"Hold on! I can't think that fast...sheesh, what do you think I am, a genius?"

"Oh, brother!"

"Aw, I didn't know you cared!"

"Don't touch me!"

"Come here my sweet, succulent, juicy..."

"Don't come any closer!" Cooler got out of his chair and backed away towards the exit. "I'm warning you! I'll hurt you if I have to!"

"Now, now. I bet you'd taste wonderful on the grill...mmm..."

"DADDY! DAAADDDYYY!!!

Cooler ran out the dining area past his father, who obviously had more important things on his mind, with Frieza after him with a knife the size of Rambo's he had taken from one of the chefs.


"What was that?" Khan asked looking behind him to Cold's ship.

"What was what?" Mulan asked her husband.

"I thought I felt something like a ki rising."

"Hey, I think I'm starting to feel it, too," Mulan said. "It seems whoever it was has lowered their ki again."

Khan sniffed the air. "There's something else."

Mulan sniffed the air as well and wrinkled her nose with a frown. "What is that?! It smells so horrible, and it's coming from the ship belonging to that warlord."

"Death," Khan stated.

"Should we go back?"

"It wouldn't make any difference. Besides, we can't help the one who is already dead."

"Yeah," Mulan lowered her eyes in disappointment but suddenly brightened up when she remembered something. "Quickly: to the registration of the tournament!"

"Onward bound!" Khan yelled raising his arm in the air.

"I'll race ya!" Mulan challenged him. She got into a running stance like a runner on the racetrack.

"You're on, woman," Khan got in the mood and took his mark.

"On three!" Mulan shouted. "1...

"THREE!" Khan took off down the streets of the city, people jumping out of the way to avoid getting killed. A trail of blue and white fire was left behind and continued up the path he had taken.

"CHEATER!" Mulan yelled angrily at her husband's back. She took off running as well and left a trail of red and white fire instead.

Khan continued to zigzag through people and buildings, looking back occasionally to see where his wife was behind him. Mulan wasn't too far off.

"Last one there has to be the other's slave for a week!" he called back. Then he turned around and ran into a building.

Mulan quickly caught up and jogged in place to see her husband's misfortune. "Ooh, he'll have to pay for that later," she said to herself. The building had a big gaping hole where the owner's office should have been. "Fine with me!" she yelled to her husband who was somewhere in there. "Slave for a week? I'm sure you'll have no problem fulfilling that deal!" Without another look, she powered up, her legs becoming blurs, and sped on to the tournament.


"Where IS he?!" Mulan asked no one in particular. She didn't see her husband anywhere. "He couldn't possibly have made it here before me."

She was in the registration line of the tournament for couples. There were four divisions at the tournament: Couples Round, One-On-One Tournament, Hand-to-Hand Combat, and Team Face-Offs. She wanted to fight in more than one division, but decided she needed to study her husband's skill a little more. Besides, you could only enter one. Which is stupid, she thought. Back at home, we could enter as many as we wanted as long as we followed the rules. And they wouldn't start at the same time as these.

Really dumb, huh? a voice popped into her head.

Whoa! When'd you get here?

Uhh...

I won didn't I?!

...Yeeeaahhh....

Ha ha! LOSER!

I don't think it's so funny...

What's the matter? Can't deal?

It's not that...it's...

What's wrong, hun? Are you in trouble? You didn't eat anybody, did you?!

NO! Of course not! I'm not a cannibal!

Then what?!

Well...

Mulan looked around for Khan. She finally spotted him sitting in the stands. Moving out of line, she pushed through a crowd of people and walked up to him. Khan had his face buried in his hands.

"Come on! Tell me!" she urged grabbing his shoulders and trying to get him to face her.

Suddenly Khan broke into a cry. "That -- that kid next to me stole my ice cream!"

Mulan looked to Khan's left and saw a weird looking gray child with whiskers for a nose licking a triple-scoop ice cream cone. It had fudge ripple, vanilla, and chocolate on it. She stared at the child for a while.

The weird child looked up at Mulan and then went back to licking the stolen cone.

"You. Little. BRAT!" Mulan said coldly with a rising ki.

The last word made the child jump and stare at Mulan with fear in his eyes. Some of the ice cream he had in his mouth fell out as well.

"Stealing food from a Jeweler," Mulan began, her eyes glowing, "is like asking for a death wish! Do you want to die??"

The child watched in horror as Mulan warp-transformed to her fourth transformation, which was exactly like Cooler's except her skin became white, her dome was closer to her head bent back, and of course she was more rounded off in certain areas. Her Jeweler's sparkle she was born with became more noticeable and made her seem to glow in broad daylight. She whipped her Icejin tail around showing off her fury, for her face was emotionless with its light blue glowing eyes. The mouth guard wasn't currently around her mouth leaving her now lavender lips exposed.

The child on the bench gathered some courage and tried to get up, only to have Mulan's hand push him back down roughly.

"Now then," she began icily, "you are going to apologize to my husband for that ice cream. Am I right?"

The boy nodded quickly and tried to give her the ice cream, but she shoved it back.

"No, no, no," she hushed. The boy looked like he was getting paler. "He won't take your ice cream."

The boy tilted his head curiously, but fear remained in his eyes.

"That's right," she continued. "That is now your ice cream. First, give him an apology, and I'll tell you what to do next. Okay?"

The boy turned to look at Khan, who had stopped crying and was staring at his wife with love in his eyes. The boy walked off the stands and faced Khan. "I'm sorry for taking your ice cream, mister," he said.

"...Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, whatever," Khan said looking at him. Then the boy faced Mulan. She wasn't smiling.

"Now, here's the next part," she started. She motioned for the boy to come to her. He obediently walked up to her as if she were his mother. "You are now going to......pay for that ice cream."

The boy looked shocked. He didn't expect this to happen.

"Whatever that ice cream cost, you are going to pay every last...uh, what's the currency here?"

The boy, Khan, and everyone else in the stadium did an anime fall.

"What?" Mulan asked confusingly. "It's not like I live here, ya know!"

"The currency is toulerres," said an anonymous person.

"Okay," she said, then looked at the boy now on the ground. "Every last too -- tokoer -- aw, forget it! Just pay him back, alright?"

"I don't have any money though," the boy said.

"Well, you better get some from somebody, or I'll slice your little head off, FREAK!"

"Yes, ma'am!" the boy hurried off to his real mother and she gave him five toulerres. "Here you go," he said quickly giving her the money. Mulan took it and examined it. Then she nodded in approval, and the boy left in a hurry.

"Wow," Khan said, "thanks, Mulan." He tried to get the money from her, but she backed away.

"Before I give this to you, tell me how much that ice cream cost, dear," she demanded.

Khan sighed. "Two toulerres."

"Then that's all you're getting," she handed him two toulerres and put the rest in her purse. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got ice cream to get, and I've also got to register us for the tournament. In saying that, well, you might as well just go with me."

"Okay," Khan bounded happily off the bleaches and followed his wife.

They had no problem getting ice cream or registering after Mulan's little scene.


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