Warning!: The characters are OOC.
The faintest fingers of dawn shredded the black velvet of night, streaking in through my high glass window like some thief treading upon sacred ground. I paid no heed to the peeking light, engrossed in my book as I struggled with the fifth day of my insomnia.
The fifth day since he disappeared.
Angrily, I pushed the thought of Somar from my mind (he is alive, I know it!) for the third time that hour, focusing on the faded, yellowed pages of my favorite story, focusing on the feel of the worn leather binding beneath my palm, focusing on the steady click-click of the clacker-toy bouncing in my other hand.
How callous I have grown. (Alive, he must be alive! Surely.. surely...)
"Three creatures," she cackled, pointing a bony finger at Lifesbane, "light against darkness. Your reign will be short-lived on the surface world. The crane is the grace, the tiger the strength, the dragon the wisdom. Your legacy will bring your own doom, your touch will be your downfall." She laughed hysterically. "Treachery lurks within your minions," the finger was jabbed into Sikal's direction, "and all the gods watch and laugh," the finger was jabbed to the ceiling. Then she giggled and continued to giggle.
Focus on the story. (Somar..)
Sikal turned away. "What I intend to do, my lord? She says the same thing each time, like a toy doll. If you will give me the permission, I will turn her into a living torch."
Lifesbane shook his shadowy head. "No. Her laughter soothes me, in a way." Sikal shuddered. Even he could not stand that horrid cackle for long. "I think it is all foolishness. Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"
"No. I want to change our plans a little."
As the two demonlords discussed their raid, the laughter faded and died
altogether. So engrossed were the demonlords that they never noticed the crone's evil smile as she listened.
Then, a soft brush against my cheek, a white-gloved hand reaching over my bare shoulder to turn the page.
I nearly hit the ceiling, dropping my toy, snapping the book shut and reflexively slamming the hard cover into the face of the trespasser behind me with a startled cry, falling out of my chair.. The book met flesh and the black-mantled form staggered back, hand touching his face.
"Ylabe ylabe!" The velvet, sing-song voice was muffled by his palm. "Vhath deid ewe do dat fob?"
I scowled, seeing the familiar yet highly unwelcome form of my archnemesis. "What did I do that for?" I repeated, irritated. "The better question would be, what the hell are ya doin' here?!"
Xellos wiggled his nose in a way almost leporine and touched it to make sure nothing was injured. Then he turned the full force of his silly smile on me, seemingly unperturbed at my hostile demeanor.
"Why, I came to cheer you up, of course!"
From the way his grin widened, I knew exactly what he meant by "cheer up."
Picking myself up from my undignified sprawl on the finely carpeted floor, a headache suddenly throbbing behind my eyes, I shot him a dark look. "Get out."
Faking a hurt look, he clutched his chest as if shot by some projectile. Oh, if only it were true! "I only came here to see you happy again, Valgarv, and yet you wound me to the heart with such a cold reception!"
"What frickin' heart?" I growled, snatching my precious book off the floor.
He cocked a single amethyst eye at me, the smile tilting half a nanometer. "Let us not mince words, Valgarv. You haven't slept or eaten for nearly a week! The matter of Somar's death is not something you can ignore."
My nails dug into the cover of the book (he is alive alive alive must be alive has to be alive don't leave me) and I spun around, striding over to the enormous stone fireplace to tend the fire. (Somar....) Dizziness overcame me for a moment as I threw another log into the flames. Sleep, my body told me. I need sleep.
Yet the nightmares.....
"I'm throwin' ya out. So go." Calm, cold. Nothing to betray the sudden storm that hovered over me, threatening to drown me in its oppression.
"No-o," he sang, hopping into my old, threadbare easy chair, crossing his legs and leaning his ever-present staff by the armrest. He tossed me one of his godsforsaken grins as he unclasped his mantle and swung it over the back of the chair, like he was on some merry house-call to a long-time friend.
Fury boiled. The audacity!!! The utter audacity !!! Why did he always torment me?! "I said GO!!! NOW!!" I hurled the book at him and it slammed against some invisible barrier a few inches from his face, falling into his waiting hand. (Somar! You left me! I'm alone so very alone)
A cocked head was my only response, a slight, almost imperceptible crease between the brows.
"Does it please ya," I whispered hoarsely, choking on the lump growing thick in my throat, "does it please ya to see realize that... my only friend is.. d- dead? Cause if it does, I hope yer damn well happy." Hard to fight back the tears now. Damn, don't let me show such weakness now, especially in front of him! Not in front of him... (Somar's dead..... dead... like my kin.. my master... all dead.... nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing there is nothing)
The whimper that escaped from my throat startled him as much as it did me, but it quickly was followed by another as my vision wavered and blurred. The world suddenly spun around me as I crumpled to my hands and knees, glaring hard at the plush carpet dampened by the waterfall of tears streaming down my cheeks. Oh gods, why am I crying now ???
(nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing there is nothing)
A soft rustle, barely audible over my racking sobs, and then arms tentatively pulled me to him. I eagerly accepted the embrace, burying my face in his scent of spice and mystery. My tears came ever more violently and I clutched at him as if I were drowning and he was the rock that would save me.
(nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing there is nothing)
Xellos didn't speak, didn't react to my blubberings between sobs. He held me for however long I wept in complete silence, as if struggling with some inner pain.
(nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing why is there nothing?)
My tears finally lessened and I pulled away and sat up, embarrassed, ashamed, hiding my face.
"Feel better? Considering how sopping wet my attire is, I certainly hope so!" His voice was light, his eyes hidden in smiles. But there was nothing mocking in his tone.
"Doumo," I mumbled reluctantly. What were his motives behind comforting me? After he left me nearly half-dead those many years ago and tried to kill me after refusing his offer to join the Mazoku. What possible use could I be now? (Somar would know... he always knew..) I scrubbed at my tear-stained cheeks with the back of my hand, sniffling.
"Why don't you rest some then, ne?" He titled his head, grinning. "You're no fun if you collapse from exhaustion."
Rest..... I suddenly felt so tired, as if my storm of weeping sapped the last amount of strength from my limbs. I turned my head to gaze at the sun already above the horizon. But those horrible nightmares... I reminded myself that sleep was just a habit I developed--I had no real need of it. "I'm not tired..." Still, the mind followed psychological nuances....
His look was lightly reprimanding.
I stared back indignantly, on the defensive. "Really, I'm not! ....besides, why this sudden bloody concern for me? Ya didn't give a damn when ya left me bleedin' to my death after stealing that relic from me."
He opened his eyes simply for the express purpose of rolling them in exasperation. "I can't believe you're still ruffled about such long-past events. It wasn't anything personal, Valgarv. Get over it."
"Well, pardon me for not being as frickin' cold as ya," I snapped, tired of him, tired of pain, tired of everything. "Next time, I'll pay special attention to how ya screw a person several times over without feelin' remorse." Heh, 'screw' not only in the literal, but in connotation as well. He had snagged me in more ways than one back then. Not now though. I knew his ways. He would never change.
(nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing always it will be nothing)
Xellos stood, violet bangs shadowing his eyes. "I did what I had to do."
"So?!"
His eyes flashed in the darkness beneath his bangs, his mask dropping for a single moment. And just as I thought I had grabbed upon that elusive emotion that twisted his features, the smiling face slammed back up again, driving me away.
"As I have said earlier this morning, I did not come to mince words with you." He shrugged. "What's done is done. Nothing will change what occurred between you and I."
(nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing what changes nothing?)
"Che." I stood, my cramped legs popping. "Yeah, I'll always hate ya. Utterly despise. " I smirked at him, which quickly faded at his stiff expression at my proclamation.
"Sou desu ne," he replied coldly, turning away. He regarded me out of the corner of his glittering eye, face unreadable. "You know, Valgarv, have you ever considered that not everything is a personal insult to you?"
"And what is that supposed to frickin' mean, Mazoku?"
Xellos abruptly phased out and then phased him, his nose touching mine, eyes brilliantly gleaming like horrible gems that presented my reflection in so many facets. Startled, I jumped back, but he merely stepped forward again, pressing in close. Again I stepped away, till I felt the hard wall against my bare back. Suddenly fearful, I lashed out as he came closer, striking him hard across the cheek.
His eyes widened in surprise and he stumbled a bit from the force, gloved hand touching his reddened cheek.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YA THINK YER DOIN'?!" I screamed, anger choking me.... and some intangible terror, for as he came close I suddenly remembered just how soft his lips were, how breathtaking his body was, how wonderful he tasted....
(nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing it all returns to nothing)
He shot me a petulant look, hand still up to his cheek. "I wasn't going to do anything, you paranoid Ryuzoku!! Do you really think I'm that base to take advantage of you at this sort of time?"
"Ya did before," I muttered.
"True...." The Mazoku smirked, eyes violet slits. "But was it really all that bad? I gave you what you wanted, didn't I?"
I folded my arms over my chest, scowling. "Che, don't act so flamin' smug. Yeah, I got not only what I wanted, but afterwards, I got what I deserved."
"It wasn't intentional, I assure you."
I laughed, harshly, bitterly. "Yeah, it wasn't yer intention to playact as one of Garv-sama's minions at the village to deceive me and then to kill me once ya had the relic."
He looked away, rubbing his cheek. "It wasn't my intention to go so far with you.... I really did not expect having sex with you."
"Is that supposed to me make feel better?"
"No, of course not. I personally don't care how you saw that situation and I am not justifying myself to you. I merely wish you to see that it was nothing against you."
I made a sound of derision.
Xellos sighed. "Of course, talking to you is like talking to a wall."
"Well, then, find some other sucker to bother. I've got better things to do then mess with ya." I stalked past him toward my chair and the book settled in it.
He caught my arm in a tight grip, turning me to face him. I glowered sullenly. "What is it now ?"
"I'm sorry about Somar, Val-kun. That's what I came to say." His face, voice.... sincere....
I bit my lip. (LIAR!! HE'S NOT DEAD! DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DeAD DeaD Dead dead dead dead dead...) "Yeah, sure ya are," I hissed, jerking my arm out of his grip.
He shrugged. "I never said you had to believe it."
(nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing I believe in nothing)
"I believe in nothing," I whispered, half-lost in my own grief.
Xellos cocked his head at me in confusion, jeweled eyes questioning.
"I believe in nothing," came the damnable words from my lips as tears pooled in my eyes, "except Pain."
Gloved fingers stroked my face gently, a slight smile on his lips, giving him an almost benevolent visage. "I know." His hand traveled behind my head, fingers lacing through the strands of sea-green hair as he tilted my face up to his.
(nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing banished by something)
Closing my eyes, I heard him say oh-so-softly, "Let me take the pain away." Words whispered many years ago.
(...banished by something...)
Somar is gone...... nothing remains.....
Lowering me to the soft floor, pressing on top of me, his cloying scent surrounding me, taking me to oblivion....
(....something.....)
Nothing remains.... a lie.... I remain..... and he....
(....what is this something...?)