navy = document to be MSTed
Disclaimer:
Zelgadis, Rezo, Xeros and Lina all belong to TV Tokyo, Software Sculptors, and their original creators (I'm sorry! I can't remember their names, and I don't know how to read kanji!). I am using these characters without permission, and not for money. Thank you in advance for not sueing me.
The idea of MST3K belongs to Best Brains.
ChaDi, Cha, Di, Silent Steel, and the Beast of Chaos are all copyrighted to me.
The poem Cruel Angel, is copyrighted to Lady Shiera (ladyshiera@yahoo.com) and I think it's good stuff. ^_^
Then why am I MSTing it? One, she requested that I MST some of her work, and two, it's going to be interesting writing the slayers gang trying to figure out the poem. ^_^
Oh, Passion, Shokka, Skeksis, may I use your girls to make a MST3K team?
Cue less than normal opening music
Anonymous singers:
In the not so distant future
About 2000 B.C.
There was a writer named Silent Steel
one of many, you see
She was done with her job for the day
Getting her next chapter underway
Making a villain vanish without a trace
When her brother got bored and shot her into space!
(Bro, I am going to kill you!)
The Anonymous singers hide behind part of the scenery
Beast of Chaos:
I'll send her horrid Fanfics
Some of the worst I can find (falala)
She'll have to sit and read them all
It just might fix her mind (falala)
(It's horribly twisted, ya know)
Anonymous singers:
Now keep in mind she can't control
when the fanfics begin or end
Because she used those special parts
To keep from being blown up by her friends!
- Slayers Roll call! -
Xeros! (I got the camera!)
Zelgadis! (Give that back, you purple fruitcake!)
Rezo! (What am I doing here?)
Lina! (Grrrr ...)
FIIIRRREEBAAALLL!!!
If you're wondering how she eats and breathes
And other science facts (falala)
Keep in mind it's just a fic
And you really should relax
For Maniac Slayers Theatre 2.34k!
fade out music, and Anonymous singers split to go practice their lounge act in Taiwan
(Satellite of Missing Sanity)
The immediate view is dark, hairy, and moving.
Silent Steel: (unseen) Xeros, stop doing that. No one wants to see what's up your nose.
Xeros: (oddly muffled and distorted noises)
The view pans out to reveal, yes indeed, the camera was up Xeros's nose. Up to the point where there is funny white globs on the lens. Zelgadis walks into view, holding a cup of coffe and a newspaper.
Zelgadis: I'm sure no one wants to know what you just said either, Xeros.
[Commercial break; 'Whips or Chains': a smart girl's guide to combat accessories! By Amazon Magazine.]
The view is on the bridge of the Sattelite of missing sanity, sans any stuff on the lens, and everyone except Xeros is in sight.
Lina: ... so the new fic's here? Joy. I hope it's not like that last one.
Silent Steel: Nope, actually it's a poem from the Slayers Mailing list.
Rezo: .... Interesting. You want us to riff something from your own mailing list?
Silent Steel: I think this is gonna be more of a case of nitpicking than any truely bad writing.
Zelgadis: Let's go.
Lina: And let's leave Xeros in the tank for now.
Rezo: Too late. It's set to let him out in about fifteen minutes.
Silent Steel: In any case, into the theatre!
The foursome troop into the theatre, Lina hitting the button her way in.
(Theatre Doors)
Door 1 (It's a giant block of ice. A few fireballs, and everyone passes through)
Door 2 (A Hachi Machi lemonfic bars the way. They all scream and blast it out of existence.)
Door 3 (A futuristic panel. Zel figures out the combo code, and the door opens)
Door 4 (It's made out of rubber tires and a giant toilet seat lid. The lid is lifted, and everyone proceeds onward)
Door 5 (It's gaurded by giant robots. Silent Steel says 'Bah Weep Graaagnah Wheep Ni Ni Bong' and they let them pass.)
Door 6 (This one's a large metal door with the Predacon symbol on it. Rezo does a rather bad imitation of Megatron, just barely fooling the security system enough to let them get through the door.)
Door 7 (It's a chainlink fence, and easily climbed over.)
(Theatre)
A rather large screen dominated one wall, and a set of chairs stood before it. Lina claimed the chair at the far left, Zel sat next to her, Silent Steel sat next to him, and finally Rezo on the end.
Silent Steel: I guess we're all here. Let's get this started.
From: Lady Sheira[SMTP:ladysheira@yahoo.com]
Lina: The Princess of Power!
Zel&Rezo: What?
Silent Steel: snickers I can't believe you remembered what I showed you of that cartoon.
Sent: Friday, April 23, 1999 10:22 PM
To: Zellinaxeros
Rezo: I see you prefer to show your allegiances plainly, Steel.
Silent Steel: Oh hush.
Subject: Slayers Fanatics! - http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Gulf/4007/index.html
Lina: Isn't it a little ridiculous to have your webpage at the top of every email sent out by the list?
Silent Steel: shrugs It was offered by listbot, and it gives the newbies of the list a good spot to start from.
Yet another crappy attemp at poetry. Hey this one actually pertains to Slayers.
Silent Steel: Oh don't be silly, Shiera.
Hehehehe, I have not explaination for this, except that I trully to feel sorry for her.
Zelgadis: This does not bode well.
Cruel Angel
Rezo: Why am I getting Neon Genesis Evangelion flashbacks from this?
Oh, my beautiful fallen angel,
my dearest one.
Lina: Okay ... this is mostly a poem about unrequited love.
Silent Steel: Among the best stuff there is ...
Zelgadis: With the highest rate of corny or bad writing.
Who's stone cold heart beats
within a flawless chest.
All - Zelgadis: stare at Zelgadis
Zelgadis: Why are you all staring at me?
Lina: That description sounds an awful lot like you.
Oh, my cruel fickle lover
how can you treat me so.
All: ...
Rezo: ... and now it's a ringer for Xeros?
You who's icy eyes burn into to mine
with the intensity of Hellfire.
Lina: And now it's back to Zel.
Zelgadis: Leave me out of this!
For thee I would give everything,
my heart, my life if only for a kind word.
Yet your beautiful merciless gaze
travels over me without a recognition
Lina: Okay, well, it's definitely not Zel or Xeros.
Rezo: But who is it?!
Zelgadis: Hey, Steel, why haven't you be saying anything?
Silent Steel: One, it's my mailing list so I've alread read it, and two, it's more fun to watch your reactions.
You have only eyes for her
For her you live, not me
Zelgadis: I wonder who 'her' is ... it's either Lina, Firia, or ... no, not Amelia.
All: shudder
How I hate her for taking you,
how I hate you for not noticing.
Lina: Maybe it's Rezo?
Rezo: No way! I couldn't see when I was alive, remember?
Lina: Dang. There goes that theory.
I scream to you, yet you don't hear,
Oh my heartless golden angel
I cry for you, and you walk on.
Oh my dear Gourry.
Lina: IT WAS GOURRY?!
Zelgadis: ... well that would make the speaker Sylpheel, then.
Lina: SOMEONE WITH THE BRAINS OF A MOLDY JELLYFISH?!
Rezo: At least it wasn't Xeros.
Xeros: What wasn't me?
Silent Steel: Neveryoumind, ya fruitcake.
Gee, can you tell who is the speaker in this poem? I warned you. No flames, oh well, I guess since it was so completly crappy you can. whistles and decides to now show this to her infinantly sarcastic fried Shiraishi-chan
Lina: ... I was definitely not expecting Gourry.
Zelgadis: And yet it was a very good description of Gourry, just not in the light people normally see him in.
Rezo: It had good rhyme and meter, and was well-paced.
All - Xeros: WE LIKE IT! QUIT BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF SHIERA!
Xeros: What are you all babbling about?
===
Sore wa himitsu desu!
Xeros: WHAT?! snarls
Silent Steel: They say mimicry is the sincerest form of flattery.
Xeros: It's also a sign of a lack of imagination!
Lina: Shut up Xeros. In this case, it's flattery.
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Spa/5099
_________________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Xeros: blinks Just what sort of kinky things have you guys been up to?
Silent Steel: What, upset?
Xeros: Without me?
Zelgadis: Get your mind out of the gutter, Xeros.
Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com
Lina: So that's it?
Silent Steel: Mm-hm.
Rezo: That was actually good ...
Zelgadis: And short.
Xeros: I still have no idea what you're talking about.
Silent Steel: Well, I hit the button, let's go.
(Theatre Doors)
Door 7 (It's a chainlink fence, and easily climbed over.)
Door 6 (This one's a large metal door with the Predacon symbol on it. Rezo does a rather bad imitation of Megatron, just barely fooling the security system enough to let them get through the door.)
Door 5 (It's gaurded by giant robots. Silent Steel says 'Bah Weep Graaagnah Wheep Ni Ni Bong' and they let them pass.)
Door 4 (It's made out of rubber tires and a giant toilet seat lid. The lid is lifted, and everyone proceeds onward)
Door 3 (A futuristic panel. Zel figures out the combo code, and the door opens)
Door 2 (A Hachi Machi lemonfic bars the way. They all scream and blast it out of existence.)
Door 1 (It's a giant block of ice. A few fireballs, and everyone passes through)
(SoMS)
Everyone troops back onto the main bridge, arguing about the merits of riffing something they all like. A light blinks forlornly for a while on their communications panel.
Lina: some type of shock ... Gourry? It was about Gourry?
Rezo: exasperated You've said that three times already, Lina.
Lina: ... Gourry?
Xeros: Methinks Lina needs a little time in the chamber.
Upon hearing that, Lina promptly did her best to shove Xeros into a coffee mug. The light continued to blink. Rezo, Zelgadis, and Silent Steel decided to give Lina a helping hand.
(Sattellite of Die-Cast)
This sattellite does not look all that different from the one of Missing Sanity, albeit without the giant tub of yarn in the main area. The major difference is the five standing there, one of who is fiddling with their comm. She looked at her comrades, shrugging.
Shadow#1: I guess we just wait, for now. According to this there's at least three other sattelites around here, and what looks like a communications gate to a pocket dimension. There's no way to tell why were up here until we get at least something of a response.
Shadow#2: ... no like thizzz.
(SoMS)
Still trying to stuff Xeros in a coffee mug.
roll closing music ... guitar-style