Part 11: Shock! We're Wanted Criminals?!


Missing episode notes

  1. Marium is the werewolf gaurdian of the Vale of the Wolf.
  2. Spell-sickness is a form of an allergy to magic. However, people only react to spell sickness when they cast magic.
  3. People with spell-sickness can disrupt spells, causing them to go feral.

Author's Note

The characters of Molly, Alex, and Amanda all belong to their perspective owners. If you want to read more about them, (and they have some really good fanfics) see the Royal Fool's Slayers Page.

Lingual notes:

  1. tu perra = you dog
  2. sacre madre = holy mother


'Dancer passed Zelgadis the thermos of coffee.

"What did Marium say to you back there?" Her tone was neutral, but Zelgadis noticed her ears were turning pink.

"You're blushing." he warned, sipping the coffee. Well, excuse me for having a heart! 'Dancer stuck her tongue out at him. "Y?"

"She mentioned that what I was looking for might be found in the Text of the Golem." He passed back the thermos. 'Dancer took a swig, then wished she hadn't.

"Sounds like a training manual. Oye, Zel, do you have an aversion to sugar or do you just need your coffee black in order to remain so cynical?" She capped the offensive thermos and tossed it to him. He caught it with a faintly amused look. "Your idea of coffee has too much cream and sugar in it." He countered. 'Dancer snorted. "Just 'cuz I like lattes... by the way, where are we going?"

"Torisantl. I've an old friend that lives in that town."


"If this is a town, I'd hate to see what a city looks like." 'Dancer remarked dryly from her vantage point looking over the sprawling metropolitan. Sacre Madre, it's larger than Portland and the Dalles combined.

Zelgadis's own reaction wasn't terribly reassuring. "It wasn't this large four years ago..." 'Dancer made a face. "Well, that's urban growth for ya. Are we still going there?" She watched his reaction. "I'd rather not." He admitted. "But I need to see Kome about some things." 'Dancer glanced back at the city. "Then let me go. You can't have any business there that would be a secret from me anyway." She winked outrageously, then quite teasing him when she saw how disturbed he was. "Seriously, just give me directions, I'll find this Kome fellow and be out by sunset."

"I don't know if I could find Kome in this mess, let alone give you directions. Besides, Kome's not going to talk to a complete stranger about matters involving a Greywers."

"Oh, is that your last name?" 'Dancer said sweetly, irked by his negativity. "Isn't there some secret handshake or something that he'd recognize?" Zelgadis shook his head.

" She always meets in person. So she can't be double crossed." 'Dancer considered that. "So we go in?" Zelgadis nodded, and pulled up his hood and mask.


"I'm hungry." The red head who'd just entered with the complaining brunette bonked her companion. "Quit gripping! Molly's getting our dinner as fast as she can. And if you hadn't thought you'd seen our target, we would have had our lunch." The young brunette nursed her head as she waited for the waitress to return.

"I did see the bounties, Zelgadis and Lina both, Alex." she insisted, scowling.

"Then where are they, Amanda? A chimera and a loud mouth brat just don't disappear in the middle of the street?" "Sure they do! They're both magic users!" "Not with out leaving some magic residue, and there wasn't any!" The girls broke off their argument as the blond returned with two huge platters of food.

"What are you two talking about?" Molly asked the drooling twosome.

"Our latest assignment." Amanda said between bites. Alex gave her a look of disgust.

"Don't forget to breath." She advised, rustling around in her pocket. "Hey, Molly, have you seen any of these people?" Molly took a look at the three wanted posters, then whistled apperiactively. "Wow, I didn't know you had an evil twin." She held up the poster of a red head. Amanda made a rude noise. "If I hadn't been with Alex at the time that this Lina Inverse person was said to have been doing crazy things I would have turned Alex in for the reward." Alex stuck her tongue at Amanda, then gnawed on a buffalo wing. Molly looked at the other two pictures. "Who are these two?" Alex swallowed. "The evil looking blond is Gourry Gabriev. The guy who looks like he's on Valium is Zelgadis Greywers. He's a chimera." She pointed to the respective pictures with her chicken bone.

"Well, I haven't seen 'em, but I HAVE heard of Lina Inverse." Molly said, returning the papers to Alex.

"Really? What have you heard?" the two bounty hunters asked in unison. Or at least, that's what Molly thought they said, as both of them had their mouths full.

"Well, she's every restaurant owner's worst nightmare. She can clean out a tavern's larder in the course of one sitting." She paused "Did I say something wrong?" Molly asked as both girls picked themselves off the floor. "No, no." Alex said waving the issue aside. "It's just that...we thought you had something relevant to tell us." "Yeah, like where they are." Amanda grumbled. Molly crossed her arms. "If I knew where they were, I wouldn't be a waitress."

"Hey, Molly, if you're done with those customers, we could use your help over here." Another serving girl called. Molly turned and waved to her. "Well, good luck guys." She said, collecting several empty plates.

"Coming Luna!"


'Dancer sat down in a huff at the tavern table. Zelgadis made himself comfortable at the opposite end, and eyed the pouty Latina, a smile playing on his lips. 'Dancer refused to make eye contact.

"Good morning! I'm Molly and I'll be your waitress for breakfast. What would you like?" A perky hostess dressed in white pants and vest materialized at Zelgadis's elbow.

"Coffee, please. Black." "Okay! Anything else?" "No thank you." Molly turned to 'Dancer. "And you, Miss?" "Chamomile tea." Molly frowned. What the heck is that? "I'm sorry we haven't got any of that." 'Dancer looked up at the young waitress, and pursed her lips. "Raspberry tea then." Oh, gee, where in the island IS she from? "I am sorry, but we haven't got any of that either." 'Dancer's expression began to turn murderous when she snapped,

"Just get me something to settle my bloody cramps." Molly's confusion cleared up imminently. "Oh, why didn't you just say so? I'll get you some willow tea right away."

"I hate peppy people." 'Dancer growled as Molly disappeared into the kitchen. Zelgadis shrugged, and was very glad his veil hid his face from her. 'Dancer had been in a foul mood since the night before, when she discovered a law of magic that was well known by all the female magic users in his world.

"Whadda mean I can't work magic?!?" 'Dancer nearly had a coronary, unable to work the light spell that Zelgadis had taught her. The upside was that she didn't have any of the accompanying nausea, but that was, to her, besides the point.

"It's obviously that time of the month." Zelgadis had said with a shrug, slightly blushing. "Whadda mean- ...you aren't implying....Who made that rule up? That's the stupidest rule I've ever heard of! It's not permanent is it?"

"No one made it up, and it'll only last as long as...that time of the month does."

Zelgadis coughed, and covered his mouth with his hand, forgetting that he was wearing his veil. 'Dancer noticed the gesture and her eyes narrowed. Zelgadis looked up to see her regarding him like she would a potential adversary.

"Here you go, one coffee for you, sir, and one...tea for you, Miss." Molly almost dropped the tea in 'Dancer's lap when Zelgadis took off his veil to drink.

"Oye, take it easy." 'Dancer yelped, rescuing the cup from Molly's shaky hands.

"S-sorry." Molly murmured, curtsying and retreating to the kitchen.

"Klutz." 'Dancer growled, taking a sip of the bitter tea. She glanced over at Zelgadis, who's expression turned black. 'Dancer sighed and touched his hand to get his attention. "Oye, she didn't mean it like that." Zelgadis glanced at 'Dancer, his tragic expression almost enough to break her heart. "Yes she did." He replied softly, before nursing his coffee. Damn, this was a bad idea.


Molly dashed down the road, hoping against hope she could catch Alex and Amanda at home.

Reaching their house, she pounded on the door until Alex, looking like she just rolled out of bed, answered.

"Ye gods, Molly, come back at a less unholy hour." She groaned, starting to close the door. Molly stuck her foot in the doorway. "Alex, they're here, at the tavern!"

"Who's here?" yawned Amanda, stepping into view with the worst case of pillow hair that Molly had ever seen.

"Lina Greywers! Zelgadis Inverse! They're at the breakfast having tavern!"

"Say who?" Amanda asked as Alex groaned. "Lina Inverse and Zelgadis Greywers having breakfast at the tavern. Great, now you're hallucinating!" Amanda, on the other hand raced back to her room and began changing at top speed.

"Quick! What did they order?" she asked. Alex grudgingly gave in and began getting her things together. Molly leaned against the doorjamb.

"Coffee and tea." Amanda swore. "Damn! They'll be gone before we get there! I thought you said Lina always eats alot." Molly frown, her gray-green eyes reflecting her confusion.

"Yeah, that is weird. I almost didn't recognize them because Lina's got her hair up in a braid and she isn't wearing her normal sorceress outfit...Wait a sec, guys," Molly looked up with a triumphant smile. "Lina ordered willow tea."

" Really ?" Amanda and Alex exchanged knowing smiles.

"Lucky!" They said at the same time.


Zelgadis and 'Dancer, it turned out, where just leaving when the trio showed up. Hiding around the corner the two bounty hunters considered various plans of attack as Molly begged off and returned to work. "Don't forget to give me a cut of the bounty." She whispered-called, heading back toward the back entrance.

"A 10% cut, we know, we know." Amanda waved as Alex counted.

"15, 16, 17, dang, too many bystanders." Amanda elbowed Alex. "When has that ever stopped you in the past?" She held up a small purple sack and grinned. "I hope you don't mind that I took it out of your supplies." Alex chuckled evilly at Amanda. "Naw, for this bounty, I'll forgive you." Amanda straightened up and walked nonchalantly towards the targets. The red head, (she really was a lot taller than Amanda would have thought) was asking directions from a merchant. Smiling pleasantly at the merchant Amanda ever-so-casually tossed the thin-skinned pouch at white garbed target.

"NO!" With a speed that startled Amanda, Lina spun around and whacked the sack away. Amanda wasn't terribly bothered, as the missile busted open and enveloped Lina and the unfortunate merchant in a cloud of gas.

"Tu perra!" Lina lept out of the cloud, roaring, as she attacked with her staff. Zelgadis slipped around behind Amanda, sword drawn.

"Oh shi- Alex! Help!" Alex stepped out from behind the corner. "DEIM...wind?" Something about the spell didn't feel right to Alex. The blast of wind that she'd summoned twisted and waved around wildly, randomly knocking over innocent bystanders and stalls. Lina, who'd disarmed Amanda and was holding her against a wall with her staff, noticed the wildly thrashing wind spell and hopped to one side, as it swept Amanda away. Zelgadis was suddenly at Lina's side, pulling her away. "Feral magic!" He yelled over the commotion. She nodded and they raced away.

"Alex, you baka!" Amanda shouted as she was slammed into a building.

"Oops." Alex intoned as Amanda slid to the ground unconscious.


Several blocks away 'Dancer called a halt to their get away.

"Wa-wait" She gasped, stopping to cough. Zelgadis watched her with growing concern as she hacked hard enough to bring tears to her eyes. Suddenly she stood up and drew a deep breath. Whew. She smiled wanly at Zelgadis. "I inhaled some of that powder." She said answering his unspoken question. She blinked suddenly as her vision blurred monetarily. She then blinked again and made a gagging sound, pointing to the alley wall. Zelgadis looked where she was pointing, and stared. 'Dancer's legs grew weak and she fell to her knees, chortling.

"Ay, Diosa, hic I know that's a wanted poster, cough, bu-but you look sooo giggle whacked out. Where you cough tripping on something when giggle they drew that?" She asked with helpless laughter. Zelgadis ignored her, and looked at the other wanted posters. A sly looking blond and an evil red head graced the wall beside his own tipsy picture.

"Lina and Gourry? This isn't good." 'Dancer picked herself off the ground and peered over his shoulder. "What's this say?" She asked, pointing to the fine print.

"Inquire at Saaphiro." Zelgadis's black mood evaporated and he actually grinned at 'Dancer. "I think we should." 'Dancer felt a bead of sweat roll down the side of her face.

"And you will accomplish what by throwing your life away?" She wanted to know. Zelgadis gave her a cool look. "You're normally not this thick." 'Dancer matched his look. "Nothing personal, but back home, if someone puts a bounty on you, you run as far and as fast in the opposite direction." Zelgadis shook his head. "If it was just me," he gestured to the other two posters, "I'd ignore the problem. But I met Lina and Gourry when I was fighting a very powerful enemy-" "Rezo, I know." 'Dancer snapped irritably. Zelgadis paused surprised. "How-?' Round one, 15 love. 'Dancer brushed a spray hair out of her face. "Your expression. What about this Lina and Gourry person?" Uneasily Zelgadis continued. "...I can't ignore my responsibility to get them out of this mess, since I got them involved to begin with."

"And you're certain this has something to do with Rezo?" Zelgadis nodded, then glanced around. "The city gates are this way." 'Dancer held up a hand in front of him.

"We're just forgetting completely about visiting Kome then?" Zelgadis regarded her curiously. "Business is first and for most to Kome. She'd think nothing about turning me over for the reward." It was 'Dancer's turn to look startled. "And friendship means nothing to her?" Zelgadis smiled faintly, bitterly. "Friendship is secondary in the business world, or had you not noticed at Nickels?" 'Dancer carefully concealed whatever she was feeling behind an uninterested look. Game tied at 15 - 15. "Bueno, lead on McDuff." She gestured to the entrance of the alley.


Back at the tavern Alex was busy healing Amanda as Molly dealt with the city guard. She flounced into the kitchen where the bounty hunters were hiding.

"What's wrong with the two of you? Amanda, don't you know better than to throw around gas missiles like that in a crowded street? And Alex! What possessed you to cast a spell you haven't perfected yet?!"

"Leave off." Alex growled. "Yeah, it wasn't our fault." Agreed Amanda. "Besides, I have mastered Deim Wind. It just...went crazy. It was almost like it went ...feral." Alex looked confused.

"You're lucky the Guard bought that story about that blast of Wyld Magik being Lina's." Molly paused to clear a place on the bench to sit down. "So what are you going to do now? They know you're on their tail."

Alex and Amanda glanced at one another. "You want to ask her, or should I?" Amanda nudged Alex. "I will." Alex sighed. "Cuz, we would like to employ your singular talents." Molly began to sweat. "Y-you don't mean..." The two bounty hunters nodded in unison.


"Nice thing about feral magic is that no one will be able to scry on us." Zelgadis spoke for the first time in an hour and a half. 'Dancer glanced up at him, from where she crouched behind a vendor's wagon.

"What's scry?" Zelgadis stood among the gargoyles, in view of the city gate, but out of sight from the casual passer-by. "Magical surveillance." He climbed down. "The gate guard has tripled. Someone must have told them we're here." 'Dancer snorted. "With that feral spell, who could have missed us?"

Flying high above a raven circled idly, intently staring at the city below. Oh, I KNOW I just saw something. The raven-that-was-Molly grumbled. Gee, why couldn't Alex find them with her crystal ball? They'll be gone before I search the whole city, and then I'll be out my cut of the bounty. She sighed, then spiraled in closer when she caught a flash of beige. Oooh...could this be...? Landing on the roof of the building Zelgadis had just climbed down from, she nearly crowed aloud. Jackpot!!!

"Should we wait for sunset?" 'Dancer asked, keeping one eye on the flow of traffic. Zelgadis shook his head. "They'll be doubly on their guard then. It's best to leave in broad daylight, when they'd least expect us." 'Dancer frowned. "Zel, I don't like this. What if they try to stop us? It one thing to fight werewolves, but I don't like hurting people just doing their job. Isn't there another way?"

"How? Just go up there and politely explain that this whole bounty deal was a misunderstanding?" Zelgadis said sarcastically. 'Dancer clenched her fist, then forced herself to relax. "I was thinking for along the lines of explaining that there'd be a lot less property damage if they let us pass." She retorted sweetly. Zelgadis turned his gaze to beyond her.

"Those carts. They'll make a lot of comotion when they leave. We'll slip out then." 'Dancer perused the wagon train of about seven carts. They were being attended to by a score of merchants. She chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip.

"Okay."

What?! No!! Alex and Amanda aren't here! I got to go get them! Molly lept off the roof, wings spread to catch an updraft...

And plummeted to the earth, writhing in pain.

CRASH!

"What was that?!" Molly looked up from where she landed in a pile of rubbish to see the two targets staring at her. She touched her head with her hand, then realized that she'd changed back into a human.

"You!" Yelped 'Dancer. "Why are you following us?" Molly turned beet red. "...Do ...you normally run around naked?" Belatedly Molly tired to cover herself. "Just kill me now and get it over with." She mumbled.

Zelgadis coughed as 'Dancer pulled off her cloak and covered the girl. "Keep an eye on her." She called to Zelgadis as she hurried away. There was a period of several long, tense, (and for Molly, truly embarrassing) minutes before 'Dancer reappeared and tossed a bundle of clothing at Molly. "It might be a bit big, but I think I got your size." She said bluntly. Molly picked up the bundle, then looked expectantly at Zelgadis. Zelgadis blinked, suddenly the center of attention. "What?" He asked warily. 'Dancer sighed. "Zel, do be a darling and turn around ." Zelgadis's expression was hidden by his veil, but 'Dancer knew better than to make any snide comments. "Well, what are you waiting for, an invitation?" She asked Molly. Molly hastily unfolded the bundle. "A dress? That's sexist!" 'Dancer crossed her arms. "Either it's dress in a sexist fashion or go naked." She said in a bored tone. Molly put on the dress.

"Can you help me button up the back?" She asked innocently. 'Dancer stepped forward and reached for the button when Molly grabbed her hand and tried to throw her. 'Dancer, recognizing the technique, grabbed a hold of her and at the last second, pulled her down. Zelgadis heard the scuffle, and turned to see 'Dancer sitting on top of Molly.

"Are you two ready yet?" He asked, unamused. 'Dancer, buttoned the dress and glanced down at Molly. "Umm... I don't know. You gonna behave now, chica?" Molly, having discovered that having a 80 kilos of person sitting on her back was detrimental to her breathing, nodded in agreement.


Part 12   |   Story Index   |   Fanfiction