I apologize in advance to the Scotts and the English out in cyberspace for the mutilation of the rhyme 'the Lion and the Unicorn'.
** No pun intended
"Hold still, I'm going to cast Recovery."
'Dancer pulled her hand free.
"Zel, how do you know you're not going to make it worst?"
"What are you talk - ?"
"Zel, everything here works backwards . How do you know that a healing spell won't finish me off?" Zelgadis's puzzled expression changed to one of uncertainty.
"Let's try an experiment." 'Dancer walked over to the edge of the clearing and bent a shaft of wheat in half. "Cast Recovery on this." She pointed to the damaged plant. Zelgadis walked over, and feeling a trifle foolish, cast the spell. The plant immediately shriveled up.
Zelgadis's stricken look was too much for 'Dancer. She laid a hand on his arm.
"Oye, I'm okay. I'm still able to walk and talk coherently. Let's take advantage of that and get out of here, 'k?"
"Are you - " " - done yet?" demanded the twins. 'Dancer and Zelgadis shared a guilty glance.
"Sorry. Where were you?" 'Dancer apologized, ignoring Zelgadis's hiss that they didn't have the time.
"We - " " - have finished. Do you - " " - want directions?"
"Yes!" "Yes!"
"Gaarrrah!" 'Dancer lept to one side to avoid being crushed by a colossal white boulder that fell out of the sky.
" 'Dancer move!" Zelgadis shouted. 'Dancer threw herself out of the path of a falling black boulder into the wheat...
...and sat up in an armorer's shop. Scratching her head she looked around at the shelves. Any shelf that she looked directly at was empty, but those just out of the corner of her eye seemed to be bursting with plate mail, chain mail and every weapon imaginable.
'Dancer stood.
"Where in the three worlds am I now?"
"My shop, honored patron. Is there anything you wish to purchase?"
Standing at the counter behind her was a tall sheep penning a note with a large feather pen. 'Dancer took a closer look and realized that it wasn't a sheep, but a wolf in a sheep skin. Beyond disbelief at this point she asked if he had any sais.
The wolf looked down his long snout at her.
"What, pray tell, are sais?"
"Swordbreakers. Massively large forks with the middle prong being twice the length of the outside prongs. Used for catching and breaking swords, ripping and tearing flesh, and impaling. Do you have any?"
"Why certainly. Behind you, at the back of the store is a fine pair." 'Dancer turned, and in the gloom of the back of the shop, almost glowing, hung a pair of sais.
"Thanks." 'Dancer pushed aside several chairs and walked through the increasing gloom...
...right back onto the path she'd been on previously.
"Zel?"
A whistling sound alerted her of an other falling stone and 'Dancer jumped into the field on the other side of the road...
...right into the middle of a titanic battle between an enormous white and black unicorn and a immense red and green serpent-dragon. '
There you are!" Zelgadis appeared at her side from out of the thick dust kicked up by the dueling creatures.
"What's going on?" 'Dancer shouted to him, covering her face with her forearm.
"This square seems to belong to a nursery rhyme." Zelgadis shouted back. "The unicorn and the serpent fighting for the crown/ the unicorn chases the serpent all around the town/ some feed them white bread, some feed them brown/ some give them plum cake and chase them out of town."
"What are you babbling about?" 'Dancer turned her face away and coughed.
"Everything in this world is in related figuratively to it's name or to nursery rhymes or to the game." There was an explosion as the serpent let out a great gout of flame, which the unicorn nimbly dodged.
"The game of Go?" 'Dancer asked. Zelgadis nodded. 'Dancer hit the deck as the serpent's tail swung past where her head had been seconds before. "Zel, the rest of the rhyme, who feeds them white and brown bread?" Laying next to her Zelgadis shook his head.
"I don't know. It's a rhyme about two warring factions fighting for control of the ancient kingdom of Qu'azlian."
"Who won the war?" "Lord Tersel, the Unicorn General." "How?" "He attacked during a holy day, when Lady Surpo's men were feasting. Why are you asking?"
"I don't want a giant plum cake dropped on my head." The duo used a momentary lapse in the fighting to make a dash...
...on to the path. Leaning against one of the boulders 'Dancer cleaned out her lungs as Zelgadis climbed on top of the boulder and looked around.
"What do you see?" She called up to him. Zelgadis turned a complete circle before answering. "The game of Go is still in progress. But the middle of the board still doesn't have any pieces on it."
"Which means that's where the greatest danger of getting squashed is." 'Dancer concluded. "Oye, Zel, can a player lay more than one game piece in the same spot?"
Zelgadis shook his head.
"Then wouldn't it be safest to go across the top of the already downed pieces?"
"Sounds like a plan. Can you keep up with me?" 'Dancer looked up at him, offended.
"Is that a challenge? I accept!" She crawled up on top of the boulder. "See you in the middle!" She called leaping from that boulder to another.
Jumping from one boulder to another the two wanderers quickly covered the remaining distance to the center. Stopping on the last boulder they scoured the sky for any signs of falling pieces.
"I don't like this." 'Dancer muttered. "It's too quiet." Zelgadis's eyes narrowed, then he grabbed her shoulder.
"There!" On the opposite side of the field the boulders were flying upwards, as if some invisible hand was picking them up.
"Get down!" 'Dancer screamed, jumping off. Zelgadis tried to grab her. "No wait!" 'Dancer watched in horror as Zelgadis and the boulder zoomed upwards.
"No." She whispered, then turned to see pieces begin to fall again.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh, why me?!?!?!?"
'Dancer sat on the ground in the middle of a very pleasant forest. Blinking, for she couldn't quite remember how she got there, she sat on her knees for a number of uncounted moments, until she scratched her head with her right arm, causing it to ache from usage. Turning her hand over she was astounded to see it all puffy with red welts streaking up her upper arm. I don't think that it's suppose to do that... Looking around, she naturally wondered where she was, which lead her to wonder where she was suppose to be, which in turn made her wonder how she got there. That was followed by the next question, who was she?
Scratching her head again only made her hand hurt worst and she decided to get up and go find some water, since her arm was terribly hot and sore. She didn't have to go very far to find a stream and after quenching her thirst she dipped her hand in and let the tiny current tug gently at it. So delicious cool was the water that she utterly forgot the question of who she was and her surroundings.
"I say, who are you?" 'Dancer looked up to see an ocelot sitting a short distance away, it's tail curled around it's feet. It's intelligent golden-green eye gazed at her curiously.
"Um... I'm not entirely certain. In fact, I haven't a clue in the slightest." The ocelot's ear twitched. "Well, that's certainly interesting. You see, I have the same problem. I was hoping you could help me." It sighed and began licking it's paw. "Well, no use staying around here then. Cheerio." 'Dancer hastily rose to her feet.
"Excuse me, but, do you think I could travel with you for a bit? I have the strangest feeling I should be with someone, and, if you don't mind, I'd like to travel with you, for a while anyways." The ocelot gave her a slight smile and bobbed it's head.
Why does that seem so familiar?
The pair had just stepped out from between some wheat when the ocelot gave a great "mrrOoow" of surprise and bounded off into another wheat patch. 'Dancer stood there, confused, when her memory came crashing back, along with a black boulder.
Knocked off her feet 'Dancer's temper flared.
"Of all the ignorant, stupid, short sighted game pieces- Why don't you watch where you're going?!?!?!?" She screeched, kicking the black boulder. The boulder blinked it's great eyes at her, and rather lazily replied,
"Why don't you pay more attention to where you're going? I can't help where I'm told to go, I'm just doing as the Head Game Piece tells me."
'Dancer took a step backwards and consitered the turn of events.
"You know the Head Game Piece?"
"Why, yes, all Game Pieces do." The boulder seemed somewhat surprised by the question.
"Is there some way you could take me to see the Head Game Piece?" She asked cautiously.
"Yes, but you'd have to wait until the end of the game. I'm afraid I can't move now that I've been placed."
Perfecto. 'Dancer sighed. "Could you maybe just point me in the right direction instead?" Already the red welts had moved up to her shoulder.
"Certainly." The boulder's eyes moved around until it was 45 degrees from where it had been facing 'Dancer. "Two squares over in that direction."
"Thank you." 'Dancer remembered to bow before she plunged into the first square...
...and stood blinking in the harsh light of the desert.
"Ki-i-i-i-i!" "Moooove along!" "Wendaaall, yu've a straaaaaay!"
Sweat broke out on 'Dancer's face as she turned around. Stampeding towards her was a substantial herd of long horns.
"Earth with her- !¿qué?!" A huge gloved hand pulled her off her feet before 'Dancer could complete her shout.
"Yu all right, Missy?" 'Dancer, barely breathing, looked over her shoulder to see she was being carried by a huge minotaur on an equally gigantic horse.
"I-I think so." She finally managed to get out. The minotuar nodded.
"Good then. Kin yu ride?" 'Dancer nodded shakily. The minotaur smiled broadly, (toothily) and set her down behind him on the horse.
"Jest hold on an' the run'll soon be over." 'Dancer did as she was told and held on to his waist as he directed the horse right into the middle of the herd. Taking the opportunity to catch her breath, she looked around and saw that the herd was surrounded by minotaurs on horse back, all wearing ten gallon hats and bandannas, herding the long horn cattle towards a canyon.
"W-what are you doing?" She shouted in the minotaur's ear. He glanced over his shoulder and grinned at her.
"Leading the herd. Iffin' I donna git in front and lead the herd in, they'll turn right afore the corral." Mia Diosa, he's a...a cowboy! And I'm...I'm in the middle of a round up! The horse plunged forward taking lead and began running full out. 'Dancer hazarded a peek around the minotaur's girth and gasped at the sheer size of the canyon they were approaching. It's twice the size of the Grand Canyon!
Feeling as if she were a drop of water being carried along by the Colorado River, 'Dancer twisted around in her seat and stared up at the banded layers of earth. The sky seemed so far away, she thought when the horse suddenly reared, screaming a shrill whinny. 'Dancer was thrown off, her minotaur turning just in time to see her go flying...
...and she landed with a painful thump on the dusty road between wheat patches. Still rolling from the momentum of the fall she continued into the patch on the other side...
...and slammed her head into something harder than packed dirt.
'Dancer laid on a sheet of ice staring up at the pale grey-blue sky for an eternity. The frigid ground cooled the fire in her arm and shoulder, and dampened the pain from the blow to her head. Breathing was difficult, so she switched to shallow puffs which helped slow her heart down and eased her stomachache. 'Dancer closed her eyes, wishing she could close them for more than a brief moment's respite. Opening them again she was mildly surprised to see a monstrous shaggy wolfhound with a blood-stained muzzle looking down at her with the same puzzled expression that she had.
"Before you ask, no, I don't know what I am doing here." The canine sat down with a thud and continued to stare at her. Finally, from lack of anything else to do, 'Dancer sat up and returned the dog's stare.
"I don't suppose that you're here to tell me to go somewhere." The wolfhound nodded and looked to it's right. Following his gaze 'Dancer could make out a tall figure moving towards them across the tundra. Painfully, she stood.
The figure turned out to be a tall woman. From the waist up she was a beautiful and elegantly dressed in a multihued cloak with Nordic designs. From the waist down, she was a rotting corpse in a decaying funeral shroud.
'Dancer bowed low to the woman.
"Buenas días, Hel." The woman arched one perfect eyebrow.
"If you know my name, then you must know where you are." Her voice was like an icy blast of arctic air. 'Dancer smiled faintly.
"This would be Niflheim, the lowest level on the World-Tree. Am I dead then?"
The woman pulled her cloak more tightly around her shoulders.
"No, not yet." She said in an annoyed tone. "And you can't, until this matter of who owns your soul is cleared up." She seemed genuinely aggrieved, and briefly 'Dancer felt sorry for the lone ruler of the realm of the dead.
"Is there something I can do?" She asked. The woman nodded her head and opened her mouth to say something when 'Dancer was gently shaken awake.
Opening her eyes she was greatly relieved to see Zelgadis leaning over her.
" 'Dancer, 'Dancer, wake up, you're dreaming again." 'Dancer slowly sat up and looked at Zelgadis.
"Oye, I had the strangest dream..." She trailed off when she saw how intently Zelgadis was watching her. "Can you help me up?" She asked. Zelgadis helped her to her feet, then took her elbow and began to lead her away from where she had lain. 'Dancer didn't complain, as it gave her a shoulder to lean against.
"I'm glad you're all right." He said, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. "You can't imagine the fright it gave me to see you lying there like that, cold and pale like the ice you were on."
"You're too kind...Ice." Zelgadis looked at her with amazement, then his features seemed to blur and reassemble into the fine features of a Native American with blue skin.
"How did you see through my disguise?" He asked in her native tongue. 'Dancer smiled wanly.
"You chose the wrong disguise. Zel wouldn't show his feelings like that, even if he did care for me." She brushed a stray hair out of her face. "You're certainly going through a lot of trouble for me. Is my dying that cataclysmic?" Ice laughed indulgently.
"Not enough to tear the worlds asunder, I assure you, but it would never do to have my sister's daughter die in this foreign place. She's a temper, that one." 'Dancer smiled demurely.
"If that's the case, could you tell me how to get out from behind the mirror and back into the real world?" Ice tsk tsked.
"Daughter of my sister, have you already forgotten all you know of our legends? Think about it, the answer'll come to you sooner than later." He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.