"Xelloss!!" Lina yelled, seeing that lecherous teacher just standing in an alley and lighting a cigarette amidst the gawking townspeople. "Smoking is bad for your health!"
Anyone who was paying attention, this includes Zel, face-faulted. And everyone else just continued staring at the rather cute gold dragon with a pink ribbon on its tail storm looking into buildings trying to find something.
"We have a bigger problem than his health!" Zelgadiss growled. "Though I for one will be overjoyed if that thing would forever disappear off the earth."
"I'm hurt."
"You mean your paycheck would hurt."
"I'd still be hurt."
Lina, who wasn't following how the discussion got on to the topic of money, tried to remember exactly what she was doing here. Let's see, before seeing Xelloss smoking, she was running toward Filia who was in a civilized manner tearing through the city. She was after Filia because of that clue. She was following the clue because she wanted to win. That's right, she wanted to win the tournament so she could get the all-expense paid summer school trip. That all took about 13 seconds. Lina was feeling a bit slow today.
"Don't you have a life over than watching me?"
"Zel-kun, you make it sound like I'm an ordinary stalker."
"Aren't you?"
"Of course not. I'm an extraordinary stalker. Do you believe the money your fan club would pay for pictures of you in the - "
"I WILL KILL YOU FIRST!"
"Not yet!" Lina cut in, nabbing the errant teacher in a headlock. "I don't know or care about what you two are yelling about. Do it on your own time. Right now, I want to win that free trip. So talk, Xelloss, don't even try to pretend you're innocent. What did you do!"
"Could you be a bit more specific? Do you mean in the last hour, the last day, the last month, the last year? Though if you want year, I'd suggest we go to this nice little hotel I know - "
"I am NOT interested in your...your..." Lina sputtered trying to find the appropriate word.
"Exploits?" Zelgadiss suggested, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and looking remarkably like a certain blond haired character with a similar hairstyle in a not very well known show called Yoroiden Samurai Troopers. But Zel doesn't know that.
"Yeah, thanks Zel. Exploits, Xelloss. Just what did you do to send Filia on a dragon rampage?!" she demanded, putting more pressure into the hold. The school nurse was tearing madly through the city though she was bellowing loudly enough to blow out the glass in two city blocks. That, in addition to the stray blasts of her breath weapon were burning the surrounding lands of the city. Oddly enough, people weren't trying to stop her as much as running away and screaming and looting stores of stuff that really wasn't worth that much anyway. City people.
"Is this any way to treat a respected teacher?"
"No, but no one here respects you. I need Filia to calm down so I can talk to her and since you're most likely responsible for her current condition, you're going to help!"
"Anything for you, Lina-chan," Xelloss chirped. "Then afterwards you can repay me by - "
But before either Lina or Zel could vent their frustrations on the socially acceptable target, something else happened. That is to say, someone else, that being a certain an artificially induced lovesick princess, arrived to rescue her one true love.
"Get your filthy paws off of my Xelloss-sama!!" Martina yelled, grabbing the king of her heart by the arm and trying to pull him out of Lina's grip. "He and I were destined for each other."
"I thought you were heads over heels for Mr. Arrogant over there." Lina jerked her head toward Zel without relinquishing her hold. Zel responded quite rudely but only Xelloss saw and his only response was to tsk.
"Zoamelguster-sama has removed the veil from my eyes so that I know the truth. I now know that my soulmate is Xelloss-sama so HANDS OFF!!"
"I don't give a damn about soulmates but he started the mess so he's going to fix it! Until then, he's mine!!"
"Lina-chan! I always knew you cared," Xelloss crooned, deliberately misinterpreting Lina's words and hugging her tightly around the waist.
"Get it off!!" Lina screamed, as if there was a disgusting thing on her. And to some people, that was a very apt description.
"Xelloss-sama, I'm over here!!" Martina wailed, trying to pry Xelloss's arm off of Lina, unknowingly doing the sorceress a favor.
"Will you all cut the nonsense!!" Zel shouted. This was going over his tolerance level for nonsense. Nothing like this ever happened before she came. The author should refrain from commenting that nothing ever happened period before Lina came but since she just wrote it, it's a moot point.
"Xelloss!!"
Everyone was flattened to the ground by the force of the roar which came directly above them. Filia's huge blue eye looked down into the crowded alley.
"There you are!" she boomed. "I'm going to fry your womanizing hide back to - "
"Language, Filia-san," Xelloss murmured. "There are students present."
"To hell with that and you!" Filia opened her mouth to fire her laser breath.
The alley exploded.
And from a very safe distance away, like across the city, Xelloss appeared on a rooftop and dropped his three charges. Actually, there was only one of them that he had to save or get fried. As for the other two? He knew the older sister of one and she would be make him wish he was had been fried. Then he had to save the third because...hmph, maybe he should have left her behind.
"What? Where? How?" Lina stammered, mentally kicking herself to get her brain to acknowledge that she was no longer in the alley about to be fried by a very angry dragon. "How did we end up on the other side of the city??"
"Xelloss-sama, you saved me!" Martina cried with joy, latching on to the teacher's arm.
Xelloss sweatdropped and sighed. Leaving her behind was looking better and better. He caught Zelgadiss's eye, which was a very scathing one. Xelloss gave a negligible shrug. At the time, there was no other options available. Martina obviously wouldn't ask about it. Hopefully, Lina wouldn't either.
"Xelloss, did you just TELEPORT us across the city?" Lina demanded in a low growl.
"Whatever are you talking about, Lina-chan? Teleport? What is this 'teleport' you are speaking of?"
Zelgadiss looked up to the sky for help but the clouds hadn't formed into anything remotely resembling letters so there wasn't any advice. Lina wasn't going to buy that dumb act of Xelloss. And she would be smart enough to figure out very soon exactly what Xelloss was. Then there would be hell. So, he had to distract her.
"We're still back where we started. If we don't get the next clue from Filia, someone else is going to win the tournament."
Lina could just see the moneybags flying away. "Nooooo!"
"Don't you have any ideas?"
"Why don't you just get rid of her?" Martina shrugged. "She's getting noisy."
Everyone looked at the Zoana Princess in disbelief.
"Just get rid of her?" There was an odd note in Xelloss's voice. "Because she's noisy?"
"Okay, fine. Before she kills someone. Like me."
"We could only hope," Xelloss murmured in such a low voice that only Zelgadiss heard him.
"Don't be silly, Martina! We can't get rid of her because we need her, alive and talking, to win the tournament. Besides which, she's a DRAGON. The surest way to kill one, other than the Super Secret Dragon Nerve Strike which takes decades to master, is to use a Dragu Slave!"
"So why don't you?"
Lina crashed into the rooftop.
"Do you remember what happened to your golem?" Zelgadiss asked.
"Of course I do. She destroyed it!" Martina glared at Lina who was picking herself up.
"She used the Dragu Slave to do it. A rather irresponsible use but - "
"What do you mean irresponsible?! If I didn't do anything, that cannon would have leveled the city!"
"Oh. I suppose that justifies the use of a spell with a known wide area effect and capable of vaporizing full grown dragons in one blast?"
"Don't be jealous of my superior spellcasting - "
"Hah!"
Xelloss watched the two shoot snipes and cutting remarks at each other like an intense tennis match. Hmmm, perhaps he should try getting them to enter in a mixed doubles competition. The teacher filed that away for later discussion with his boss.
"Students!" Xelloss said in his best teacher's voice. By reflex, Zel shut his mouth. Lina, however, wasn't as well-trained.
"What the - "
"May I direct your attention back to Filia-san?" he reminded, turning Lina's face in the right direction. "If you don't do something soon, there won't be too much of a city left."
"Us? What about you? Last I heard, she's running through the city looking for you. And what's this about two-timing?" Lina asked narrowly.
"Jealous, Lina-chan?"
Lina pushed his smiling face away. "ANYWAY, we can't kill her. Trying to drive her away won't help us win. There has got to be a way to calm her down."
"I've never seen her like this," Zelgadiss commented. "It's almost like she was possessed."
"Possessed?" Lina repeated, the wheels turning in her head.
"That's it!" they both said.
Xelloss blinked. Martina blinked. Below there was sounds of broken glass as another store was broken into and looted.
"All we need to do is calm her down!" Lina grinned.
"And how do you propose to do that?"
"The same way you get rid of low level possession," Zel explained. "Megido Flare ought to do it."
"Only one?"
"Don't be silly. We'll just grab every available white mage who can cast it," Lina shrugged, already floating as her spell took hold.
"Inverse-san, are you sure this is going to work?"
"What are you so worried about? Megido Flare has no adverse effects on living creatures," Lina lectured to Amelia, the first white mage she had run into on her white mage hunt. "If it doesn't work, we'll just have a lot of really mellow people and one still raging dragon."
"Everyone is assembled and ready," Amelia noted. "They really listen to Sylphiel-san."
Lina couldn't help but nod. Being school idol must mean a lot more than just being a pretty face for boys to drool over. Everyone, all of the students that is, were following her every word. Lina could really learn to like having that kind of power.
"Okay. Remember, Amelia. You're supposed to be giving the count so everyone can cast it together."
Amelia nodded, nervous because of the responsibility but giddy because of it as well. This was her dream, to lead the people along the path of justice and good. And she got to have practice during school!
"Alright everyone! For justice and peace, follow my count! One, two, three! You, who are not of this world..."
"Xelloss is coming with the target," Zelgadiss reported. "What if this doesn't work?"
"Like I said, we'll have a lot of mellow people."
"I meant, Filia."
"I know," Lina grinned. "Grab the Shaman Casters and cast Mono Volt?"
"By the Light of Purity I possess, I bid thee, begone to the nexus of our two worlds!"
"Perhaps a Diggu Volt would be more appropriate."
"Diggu Volt?! Are you trying to kill her?"
"Oh, as if a concentrated Mono Volt as you're suggesting won't?"
"Cover your eyes, children. It's going to be bright," Xelloss said cheerfully.
"Hey, weren't you - "
"MEGIDO FLARE!"
"You did stop the rampaging dragon," the faceless panel of judges admitted. They as one nodded to Amelia who was the only one with a face. "And our fellow judge has...enthusiastically praised you in your quick thinking. However, the damage to the city and part of the school grounds is extensive."
"But it wasn't me-ouch!"
Lina glared at Zelgadiss who had kicked her in the shin.
"As the city requires that we compensate for the damages down by one of our employees, as well as the losses from looting, the emotional trauma suffered from seeing a real dragon, fines from newly made laws about non-humans and their privileges within the city, blah blah blah..."
Lina zoned out until the key words 'prize' returned to the conversation.
"...prize was to pay for the winning class's expenses on the coming summer school trip. As it stands, this money will be used to pay for the previously stated grievances of the city."
Lina's jaw dropped.
"I'm sure there are no objections to this."
"Like hell they're aren't any-mmmrph."
Zelgadiss covered Lina's mouth before she could say anymore. And she couldn't bite him because then she'd need a new set of teeth. The thought of Mono Volt-ing him was extremely tempting.
"So it stands. The money reserved for the first prize of the Swords & Sorcery festival will go to the city of Atlas."
"This isn't fair!!" Lina wailed.