Chapter 4: Silent Voices in the Astral Plane


Three warriors.
One sleeping. Two awake. Eyeing one another. Distrust.
The sounds of a small fire crackling echoing softly throughout the small cavern.
Brown eyes on red. Anger. Curiosity. Impatience.
Staring.
A wince.
A sigh.
"What?"


"Sorry."

"You've been staring at me for the past few minutes."

"I'm dozing off. Sorry."

"Then go to sleep."

"Can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I haven't really talked you out of anything yet, have I?"

"You don't trust me?"

"Should I?"

"You think me coward enough to kill you in your sleep?"

Lina winced. She was battling her exhaustion and doing quite poorly in it. She felt herself slurring her words. She felt Natalia's reproaches muffled against the sound of her own tired breathing. But she also felt shame.

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing already. It's sickening."

"Excuse me."

Natalia looked away. She was battling her own exhaustion. She'd dreamt of Lina's coming for some time, and her sleep had come in shorter bursts with each night. The bags under her eyes were too aged for a woman of only twenty two years. But she also felt shame. Maybe she was behaving irrationally.

"Go to sleep already."

"I have a better idea," Lina mumbled, rubbing her left eye gently. "Let's wait for Zangulus' shift and then we both go to sleep."

"You don't think he'll do a slash slash on my neck while I sleep?" She smiled that smile of hers again.

Lina felt a tinge of anger. "He's no coward either. Besides..."

"Besides what?"

Lina smiled mischievously. "I think he likes you."

"Stupid girl."

"Stop calling me that."

Silence. It was still at least an hour before it was Zangulus' turn to stand guard. Both women found themselves wondering how they'd manage to sit there together passing time in this, the most awkward of situations.

"So what do you dream, Lina?"

The question was abrupt, gently nudging Lina away from the soft spell of coming sleep.

"Nightmares."

"No kidding. Can you be more specific? You said they'd convince me."

Lina looked at her and realized Natalia's interest was genuine. Almost as if she were trying to give herself a reason not to kill her. Maybe there was even more reason in her than Lina had assumed.

"I dream I'm in empty cities mostly. It's been the same dream for the past two years."

Natalia nodded slowly. "And what happens?"

"Children," Lina whispered the word. "They're all children. No adults, no other people. Only children."

Lina's red eyes reflected the soft, burning embers of their little fire. Natalia noticed it and thought how tragic the juxtaposition was; Lina's eyes were downcast, sad, probably not far from tears, and the fire reflected in her eyes seemed to presence something else, something darker, more tragic, something hidden even from Lina herself. Natalia forced herself to stop looking. Not enough sleep, she knew. She was seeing things again.

"Are the children alive?" she finally forced out.

"At first. Then they're killed."

"By monsters?"

Lina swallowed hard. "By something."

Natalia moved a bit closer to her so that the two wouldn't have to strain so much to hear the whispering.

"That's what I can't understand."

"What?" Lina asked, meeting Natalia's gaze.

"You say 'something' kills the children. Have you ever gotten a look at it?"

Lina closed her eyes and thought of the dark form that she had seen kill her older self night after night. But it had no form, at least none that she recognized. She opened her eyes again. "Not a clear look, no."

"Strange," Natalia continued, "neither have I. I've seen things in my dreams. Monsters, sometimes. But many times they're something else. Like..."

"Shadows?"

Natalia's eyes narrowed. "Yes. How did you know?"

"I had a new dream last night. I saw shadows and Leeches. But the shadows were the ones whose presence was most noticeable. There was something almost empty about the Leeches."

"Like they were just there, going through the motions?"

"Yes."

"Strange," Natalia looked at the fire. "I wonder what it is that our dreams are reinterpreting?"

"Or showing us."

The two fell silent under the weight of their remembrances. Each one looked at the fire, almost hypnotized by its flicker and the soft crackles emanating from it. Each one was caught up in their own little world of reason, trying to put the few available pieces of their subconscious puzzle together and make sense out of it. Only there was very little either one could make out.

"And what are you doing throughout?"

Lina was again caught off guard by Natalia's sudden question. She looked at her companion and noticed her eyes had not moved from the fire, even as she asked the question. Lina frowned; Natalia was interrogating her.

"I'm not doing much of anything really," she sighed. "I'm just there, walking through the dead city."

"Do you cast spells?"

"None."

"Do you attack anyone or anything?"

"No."

"Do you do anything other than walk around?"

That tinge of anger again. "If you're asking me whether or not I do what you dream I do, the answer is no."

Natalia closed her eyes. "Sorry. Didn't mean for it to come out that way."

"All I do," she continued, ignoring the apology, "is witness the slaughter. It's not my doing. I just see it. I just wade through the carnage."

"Anything else?" Natalia persisted, the look in her eye softening slightly. "What about your new dream?"

Lina's mind froze upon the faded, gruesome image of Myra in her old sorceress outfit and of the demonic voice that had spoken the name of the forbidden spell. Giga Slave. But she hadn't figured that one out yet. It scared her out of her wits, but she was nowhere closer to deciphering its content than she was when she actually dreamt it. And for some reason, she felt Natalia didn't need to know about it either. Yet.

"Nothing else. Shadows in windows, a giant eye, Leeches feasting on children, end of story. I die in all my dreams, you know."

"I know," Natalia nodded. "I do too. Usually by your hand."

Lina put her head on her palm and closed her eyes. "No wonder you want to kill me," she mumbled before letting out a sigh that was both tired and bored.

Her nonchalance struck a nerve. "Don't take it, or me, lightly Lina. Don't think I've given in to your explanation just yet."

"Is that a threat, Natalia?" she asked, opening her tired eyes and casting a provocative look at her companion.

Her brown eyes grew cold again. Lina found herself hating that ability of hers to look with such concentrated hatred at her.

"It's a fact."

"What's the difference?"

Natalia looked away. "Just get this through that little red head of yours, Lina. As far as I'm concerned, you're the cause of all this. I'll continue to believe that until I'm told something better."

"And get this through that little braided head of yours," Lina replied with equal spite, "the more you let your instincts guide your judgment, the less sense you'll end up making."

Both eyes locked onto each other for what seemed like minutes on end. For the briefest of moments, the tension between them was fierce, and it was only the complete exhaustion both women felt that kept them from renewing their earlier battle. Both seemed to realize their predicament. Almost simultaneously, both looked away and towards the fire again.

"We've got to stop doing this," Lina muttered.

"At least until we can sleep. Maybe in the morning we can fight again?"

Lina almost laughed despite her tiredness. So. Natalia had a sense of humor after all, even if her mouth refused to bend beyond the frown she was wearing.

"Yeah, maybe. And I can kick your butt again."

"Stupid girl."

"Stop calling me that."

Natalia smirked as she took a sip of water from a chipped wooden cup. "Go to sleep. I'll wake him up in a while."

"No, I'm okay," Lina replied, observing her companion and suddenly finding herself very interested in knowing more about her. She seemed so much nicer when she wasn't hating her.

"How long have you been here?" she asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Ah," Natalia sighed sarcastically, "now you want to know my life story?"

"No," Lina responded with exaggerated indifference, "just the part about you living in this cave."

She put her cup down. "Since the beginning of the War."

"After..."

"Yes. After they wiped out Soledad." Natalia looked hard at the fire, as if reliving the experience by watching the dancing flames and their flickering shadows across the dry walls. "Ever hear of the Soledad Settlement?"

Lina thought for a moment. She'd heard names of distant settlements in conversation, in rumor, in speculation. She'd known about settlements from cities she'd never even been to. Yet, she could not think to have ever heard of the Soledad Settlement.

As if reading her mind, Natalia continued. "That's because there was never any. There were never more than five hundred people in our little village. No soldiers. Not enough money to hire any mercenaries, magic using or otherwise. I was the village's only magic user, but I was away during the attack trying to solicit help from two neighboring cities for a village who had always despised me. When news of the attack was heard, I rushed back home, but it was too late. Everyone had been trapped. The monsters slaughtered everyone; men, women, children, the elderly alike. The only thing I found were two stragglers and, oh, about five hundred corpses."

"I'm sorry Natalia." There I go again.

"At first, all I could think about was vengeance. To follow the monsters and kill as many as I could before they got me. I couldn't believe how much I felt for people who had made my life a living hell for as long as I'd known them, but there I was, ready to die in order to avenge even a handful of them. Ironic, in the most gruesome sense of the word, that I could only feel that attachment to them after they were all dead."

She swallowed hard, as if forcing back unwanted emotions. Her voice had shaken slightly towards the end, but she steadied it again with an icy perfection that almost frightened Lina. "I sat there amongst the bodies, I'm not sure for how long. I was sobbing, pounding my fists into the ground, wanting to kill myself right then and there so that I might join them. I suppose it sounds sickening in retrospect, but there I was. You see, it's almost as if I realized then, when it was too late, that perhaps it was my own childhood bitterness that had kept me from getting close to anyone there. I was crying for them, for their deaths, and for the realization that, perhaps, they could have very well been my family had I not been so full of spite. I don't know. Maybe I did experience a moment of revelation. But I imagine such are the ramblings of anyone finding themselves among five hundred familiar corpses and a burnt-down village."

Lina kept quiet this time as Natalia drew another sip from her cup. She could tell it was taking every ounce of strength in her to keep from showing emotion. She knew because she herself had performed in much the same way when bitter subjects arose. She knew that beneath the silent look, the steady voice, and the expressionless mouth, Natalia was ready to collapse.

"After all that," she resumed, the 'all that' coming in a quick spurt that hinted at a long, long story left out, "I searched for a place in which I might stay for a while without being seen. I had always known that the caverns along the base of the Oscuras were plentiful and well concealed. It didn't take long for me to find one and develop a plan for survival. And that, as they say, is that."

Lina's mind began asking several questions all at once, mostly revolving around the huge gaps Natalia was obviously leaving in her story. No doubt, there was more to the story, more to her long-lived survival and her commitment to avenging Soledad and saving what was left of humanity. But as she was about to voice her questions, she realized that Natalia had said enough for one night. She had not moved her gaze from the dying fire, as if immersing herself completely in that one simple act of pointless observation so as to keep her mind from returning too far back into the tragic recesses of her memory. Lina closed her mouth silently. Enough for tonight.

"By the way," Natalia suddenly said in that icy calm voice of hers again. "what moron started calling this thing a 'war' anyway? When did we ever have a chance to wage war?"

Damn it, Natalia! Do you always have to be doing that?

"Not sure who named it," Lina shrugged, "but when they formed the Dragon Army, they were certain we'd win."

"Fools," Natalia grumbled. "Of all the idiocies. Sorcerers fighting as an army."

"It might have worked had we separated our numbers. Maybe fight in groups of five or six."

"You were there, weren't you?"

Lina closed her eyes in silent embarrassment. Natalia noticed it.

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"You mean you don't know?"

Natalia shook her head. "Astral wandering gives you, at best, cryptic images from places and times far away. I saw images of the Dragon Army's defeat, but I have no real idea of what happened or how it happened."

Lina looked down, the recollection of her blunder causing her instant grief. So many lives. Gone. "We knew the monsters were gathering outside of New Sairaag. It was almost immediately after the war began. Sylphiel thought it had something to do with Flagoon and New Sairaag itself, that there was a central importance in the two. Something about them being a terrestrial juncture point between planes."

"Sylphiel? The arrogant Shrine Priestess?"

"Yes."

Natalia narrowed her eyes skeptically. "What made her think that?"

"I asked myself the same thing. We disagreed and quarreled over it. We were already on, let's call them, hostile terms with each other. That just served to distance us altogether."

Natalia nodded slowly as Lina continued. "She insisted that any defense of New Sairaag had to be built around that premise, and that it would require for us, the Dragon Army, to fight the monsters within the city and around Flagoon itself, not on the distant outskirts. But I disagreed with her. I told her that any fight inside the city would put everyone, warrior and civilian alike, in danger, and that our best chance to win was to catch the monsters outside the city as they continued to prepare their attack.

"When it was all said and done, it turned out I was wrong to assume we could catch the monsters unprepared. There's no such thing. We thought we'd surprise them with a quick attack, but they were just waiting for us the whole time."

She paused, the heaviness of the recollection wearing her tired mind down. Images of fallen comrades, marauding monsters, and oceans of flame and blood flooded her conscious thought. "You've seen how they do it, right? Your dreams, no doubt, have shown you?"

Natalia simply nodded. There was no need to vocalize the brutal, inhuman efficiency with which some monsters were capable of wiping out an entire group of people.

"Well, while these sorcerers are busy casting fireballs and flare arrows and elmekia lances, the monsters just moved on, a few meters at a time, decimating entire ranks of sorcerers. Between the panic, the lack of organization, and the random spell attacks that were just being canceled out left and right, our army was doomed from the start. I tried to regroup our numbers, but it was then that I discovered the other main weakness in organizing an army of sorcerers. There was no discipline. I imagine soldiers are more attuned to the commands of their leader because they see themselves as part of a whole, as a component of a larger fighting force. Sorcerers? Independent fighters. Used to being on their own. Most were hired as mercenaries from guilds across several cities, others enlisted from independent magic associations. We had never even conceived the possibility that a lack of organization and discipline would be our main undoing. But that was it, more than anything else. We never stood as one. No wonder the monsters wiped us out with such ease."

"How did you survive?" Natalia asked with what seemed like wonder instead of suspicion.

Lina closed her eyes again. It was a dark memory. Painful. Maybe Natalia was getting back at her for making her relate difficult memories. "They left me for last. I don't know why, but I imagine it had something to do with my defeating Shabranigdo five years earlier."

"Makes sense," her companion offered. "Monsters have a way of recognizing specific individuals who have dealt with them in one way or another. It's like specific humans are marked, the same way, I suppose, that specific monsters like Shabranigdo and Zanaffar are marked in our memory."

"When I noticed," Lina continued, "what they were doing, and when I knew that no one was going to survive, I began the incantation for my most powerful spell. It was the same spell I used against Shabranigdo, and I knew that it was the only chance I would have of defeating them. The Giga Slave."

"Giga Slave?" Natalia asked in apparent confusion. "I've never heard of that one."

"It's a forbidden spell that draws power from the Lord of Nightmares. To my knowledge, I'm the only one to have used it in over one hundred years."

"Forbidden spell," she muttered more to herself as she looked back at the fire. "Lord of Nightmares..."

Eyeing her with some concern, Lina continued. "The spell worked. I managed to kill off the monsters that were there, even if I myself was left completely drained by the spell. I remember slumping onto the ground, my knees and hands splashing against fresh blood on the ground, and becoming nauseous."

"That was it?" That icy voice again.

Now it was Lina's turn to fight back her emotions, because what remained of her memory after the Giga Slave had haunted her ever since it happened. Natalia noticed it but remained silent; she needed to know the rest of the story. And she needed to know more about this forbidden spell.

"No." Lina shook her head softly. "I'd only killed the first wave. Almost as if mocking me, a new wave of monsters appeared out of nowhere. I stood up. I don't know what I was thinking. But I went right back down. The last thing I remember is taking a spell attack in the chest. The next thing I remembered was waking up in a nearby forest. I know that I was dragged from the battlefield by my husband, and then healed by Sylphiel, but that's about it."

"Your husband?"

"Yes," Lina tried to steady her voice. "but don't ask me to tell you about him. Not now." No tears, damn it. Not in front of her. Not in front of her. "I'm sorry," Natalia offered, "but how was it that you survived when no one else did? How was he able to find you and take you to safety? It almost doesn't make sense." Grief gave way to sudden anger. Lina's eyes flared up as they locked themselves back on Natalia, her whisper coming out harshly and sharply. "I don't know! I don't know anything about it, about what happened to my husband, nothing! All I know is that I'm alive because of him! Don't you dare talk to me about what makes sense and what doesn't!" "I'm sorry," Natalia repeated, her own eyes softening and lulling Lina away from her sudden outburst.

For the next few minutes, neither spoke. Both found themselves immersed in thought, memory, and conjecture, each one trying to make sense out of the gaps left in both stories. Both found themselves with more questions than answers, with facts that made even less sense than speculated non-facts. But in light of the shared stories, both found themselves wondering pretty much the same thing, for even Lina had not given it much thought until she heard herself speak the story out loud. Why had the monsters spared her? Both Lina and Natalia knew that monster attacks didn't wound. The ferocity with which they had decimated entire cities and armies attested to that. Yet Lina took a blast head on and still lived to tell about it. Why?

Natalia began to open her mouth to speak when the cavern rung with a new sound: snoring. Zangulus shifted in his sleep, positioned himself face up, and began to snore lightly. The echo that carried the snore throughout the small cavern, however, made it sound that much louder. In spite of their shared misery, Natalia and Lina smiled to themselves.

"I just hope I don't sound like that," Natalia rolled her eyes. "You think we should put that silly hat of his on his face?"

"Don't do that," Lina answered, too tired to cause any kind of mischief. She looked towards Natalia and then towards her sword, resting next to Zangulus' on the nearby wall. A question resurfaced.

"Could you tell me how you killed the Leech today? I've never seen anyone kill one with a melee weapon."

"Oh, you can kill them with a melee weapon, all right."

"Is that so," Lina retorted. "Because the last I heard, sword-wielding warriors drop like flies when fighting monsters."

"Regular monsters, yes. I doubt you can kill one of them with a sword. Leeches, however, are different."

"In what way?"

Natalia rolled her eyes. "Sweet Maker, it's like you were born yesterday. Haven't you observed those bastards and what they do?"

Lina instantly thought of the aimless wandering, the sulking, the latent suicidal impetus that drove her for most of the past two years. In all that time, she'd cared little about observing anything, let alone the behavior patterns of those of the Monster Race. She felt almost embarrassed to have to confess now that she'd been so careless.

"That look on your face tells me you haven't," Natalia continued. "Leeches aren't like the odd assortment of monsters wiping out entire cities. Leeches act almost like drones of some sort. Like warrior bees sent out by the queen hive in search of pollen."

"You're saying they're attacking people for purposes other than self-sustenance?"

"Lina, have you ever heard of a monster living off the blood of humans? Cmon. Monsters feed off spiritual and emotional qualities like fear and anger. What would Astral creatures want with human blood?"

"Then why do they put so much effort and will into sucking out people's blood?"

"Like I said, when I've seen them do it, it's almost like they're collecting it for something."

Lina couldn't help but to shudder. She'd never even thought about the possibilities that Leeches were merely part of a structured plan of attack involving the gestation of human blood. If what Natalia was conjecturing was even half true, it suggested that there was something on the horizon. Something big. Something unstoppable.

"You think it has something to do with resurrecting Shabranigdo?" Lina asked, her mind working with new variables and thinking of new possibilities.

"Maybe," Natalia nodded, "but somehow I'm not completely convinced of it. His resurrection wouldn't require the gestation of human blood. You of all people should know."

Lina thought back to her fight with the Dark Lord seven years ago and forced herself to agree with Natalia. His resurrection involved powerful spells, amplifiers, and incantations, not physical sacrifice. She recalled how Rezo, the original Red Priest, had used the Philosopher's Stone and a huge magic circle to resurrect him, and knew that it was, in fact, the proper, and perhaps only, method of carrying it out. And yet, maybe the Monster Race had found a way to resurrect him without the need for incantations and a human mediator like Rezo. Maybe the gestation of human blood was somehow allowing the Monster Race to bypass human mediation and open the rift between their plane and the Terrestrial Plane themselves.

"Maybe the monsters are resurrecting him through alternate methods," Lina suggested.

"Maybe," Natalia conceded, "and if that's the case, I'd say we're done for. I doubt you could defeat him again, even with all our help."

"Agreed," Lina nodded, "and if that is, in fact, what we're facing, then I suggest we move quickly to find Zelgadis and Sylphiel and figure out a way to defeat him. But you still haven't told me how you killed that Leech."

"Well, Lina, think about it. An Astral creature extracting a physical substance from human victims."

Lina recalled how she felt the cold sharpness of the Leech's spikes on her paralyzed body, and of how heavy the damn thing felt resting upon her. They were more corporeal than other monsters, that was certain, but not corporeal enough so as to be harmed by even the most powerful of conventional spells like Fireballs. But she had felt those spikes in a way more pronounced than when she had tangled with the other Leeches in the maze. It was almost as if the creature had become more corporeal at the point of gestation. Lina's eyes suddenly widened in realization.

"A spatial shift of sorts."

Natalia smiled and nodded. "Very good, Lina Inverse. Because they need to burrow into human victims and suck out their blood, they need to actually make contact with a human body in order for them to be able to do so. Meaning that their bodies temporarily shift from Astral to Terrestrial planes during the process of gestation. For the few seconds it takes them to kill a person, they're flesh and blood, just like us."

Lina's excitement faded instantly. "That means, however, that the only way to kill them like that is to catch them in the middle of gestation."

Natalia sighed. "Yes. Unless there are two of us fighting one of them, and unless one of us is willing to come within milliseconds of being impaled to death, the advantage is useless. It's not like we can ask them to shift to our plane for good."

"Damn," Lina bit her lower lip as she thought about how limited, in fact, that knowledge was. Indeed, it probably had already done them all the good it was ever going to do them when Natalia caught that one Leech about to kill Lina. She shook her head.

"Besides," her companion resumed, her head pointing towards her sword standing alongside Zangulus', "who said that mine is a conventional melee weapon? If it were, don't you think that sword of yours would have ripped right through it during our fight?"

"Oh great," Lina grumbled, "don't tell me you have a special sword too. It seems everyone has a special sword nowadays."

"No, not special in the sense that it can launch magic attacks or anything like that. It's simply attuned to my mind, meaning that it can nullify Astral attacks and be reinforced by the same Astral energies that I draw from during my shifts and wanderings. Purely defensive. A sorcerer in the Feathered Serpent Order helped me develop it."

"Your old Shamanist Order," Lina asked, her head motioning to Natalia's faded wrist guard.

"The very one," she nodded quietly, repeating herself as she gently rocked herself back and forth. Another story, huh?

"Did I say thank you for getting that one off my back today?" Lina finally asked after several seconds of silence.

"Yes," Natalia replied simply. "But..."

"Yeah yeah yeah, I know. 'It has to be done right.' Well, thanks anyway."

Natalia smirked as usual. Lina smirked back. Both thought to themselves what a bizarre relationship it was that was slowly forming between the two.

And both almost giggled as the snoring continued. Indeed, it had gotten progressively louder. Or at least it seemed to have.

"Don't you think it's time we woke up sleeping beauty here?" Natalia asked, motioning her head towards Zangulus.

"Yeah, I think it is," Lina smiled mischievously as she nudged him gently with her foot. "As much as I'm enjoying your wonderful conversation, I'm exhausted and think I'll take my chances with the nightmares."

"Stupid girl."

"Stop calling me that."


I can't see the city. Where is it? Where are the children?
Where am I?

You're here.

Where's here?

I don't know.

It's you, isn't it?

Yes.

But how? I never possessed that power...

Maybe because we're so close together.

Feeding off you?

Maybe.

Natalia?

Yes?

Is it always like this?

Like what?

Like this. Dark. Empty. Where am I? Where's my body? My face?

Yes. It's like this always.

I've felt this before.

When?

I don't know.

When?

I said I don't know.

Then how can you know you've been here before?

I know it. I've lost my face before.

Poor Lina.

Don't mock me.

I'm not.

You don't sound as mad right now.

Why should I? Can't hurt you here.

Oh.

Lina?

Yes?

Are you afraid?

Should I be?

Are you?

Yes.

It's different, isn't it?

Yes.

Could you get used to it?

Never.

Neither have I.

Then why do you do it?

It's not my will.

You're pulled?

Yes.

Control?

No.

Sadness?

Always.

What's that?

The rift.

Through planes?

Yes.

But how can I be...

Don't know.

What's beyond?

Places.

People?

Lives.

Can I...

See them?

Yes.

I don't know.

Natalia?

Yes?

I want to see.

Not for me to decide.

I want to see.

Open your eyes.

I don't have any.

Open your eyes.

But...

You're not thinking.

But...

You've used them before.

You mean?

Yes.

I see.

What?

Inside

Of what?

Of something

Organic?

Yes.

Membrane?

Yes.

Like being born?

Like being young.

Like being a child.

Are we children?

Why ask?

Because...

Don't. Because then they'll come back.

Natalia?

Yes?

I can't understand. I can't understand myself.

What you're thinking?

Yes.

Your thoughts

As mine

As ours

Is it always like this?

Don't know. Never been here with anyone else.

Oh.

Lina?

Yes?

See the rift?

What rift?

The opening

Like a womb...

That's it.

What's beyond?

What's beyond.

I can't understand.

Neither can I.

But...

They're never easy to understand.

Always

In riddles

In questions

In silent images

Bearing no meaning

But there is meaning

Why do you say that?

Because they do. Look.

What?

We're going through.

Like being born

Again.

Where are we now?

Don't know.

Don't you know?

No. I only see.

Looks familiar

In a strange sort of way.

Like

The place where we fought today

You were strong

As were you

Do you still want to kill me?

Yes.

Oh.

Nothing personal

Nothing here

Wait

Why?

Because we'll shift

Somewhere else?

Yes.

Natalia?

What?

I can't feel

Anything?

Yes.

It's normal

Abnormal

It's us

Not us

Our bodies

Gone

No, not gone

Absent

Left behind

This makes no sense

It never does

Then why...

Wait

For what?

For it to stop.

Where does it stop?

I don't know.

We're flying

No, we're floating

No, we're nothing

That too

Towards

The mountains

The darkness

Both

What's there?

Is it there?

What's there?

Let's see

Movement

You saw it too?

Yes

Sweet Maker

Monsters

Moving

Towards

That spot beyond

The mountains

The darkness

The Oscuras

Yes

What's there?

Who's there?

Who?

People

A settlement?

Yes.

Being hunted?

Yes

Where are they?

I don't know.

Beyond the darkness

But I can't tell

But it looks familiar

Like the place we fought today

Only farther to

The east

A settlement

I've seen them

Before?

Yes

Who are they?

Don't know.

Survivors

And the Shrine Priestess

Sylphiel?

The Sairaag Settlement

Are you sure?

They passed by weeks ago

Here

Yes

Meaning that

The monster's have

Found them

Hunted them

Killed them?

Not yet.

When?

I don't know.

Do we have time?

I don't know.

Can we try.

We can try

Can you wake up?

Yes

Natalia?

Yes?

Will you help me?

Yes.


Zangulus hardly knew what to think as he sat there watching over the two women and a now-dead fire. He had gotten, he estimated, three hours of sleep at most, and while he was far from rested, he knew he'd at least have enough to continue with the coming day. He didn't know if it was, in fact, the lack of sleep or his mind playing tricks on him, but as he sat there observing them sleeping soundly, he could have sworn they were sisters.

They both looked innocent enough, as all people do when the sleep. Hell, he figured even he looked like an angel when he slept, and that was almost to laugh at. With both sets of eyes closed, both loud mouths closed under the weight of unconsciousness, and both sets of hands resting under their tired, sleeping heads, they looked positively harmless. He snickered. To think that both could be so damn maniacal when they were awake. Like sleeping volcanoes just waiting to erupt and destroy all surrounding life. Didn't they used to call Lina the Natural Enemy of All That Lived?

What did they call her, though? He found himself thinking about the woman with black braided hair - did she ever undo them? - and about what a terror she must have been in past years. Considering the treacherousness with which she had blasted him - twice - he figured she had her fair share of immorality in her, probably enough to give Lina a good run for her money for the Bitch of the Year Award. But, like Lina, she was more than just mouth. She wasn't just some little snot-nosed sorceress who collapsed under the first signs of trouble. He couldn't remember a more difficult sword fight, at least not since his past battles with Gourry, than the one he had had with her that day. To have finally found another worthy adversary, now that none of it mattered.

Gourry. His memory jogged back to those earlier fights and the sheer adrenaline that had driven him throughout. That desperate need to prove to Gourry and to himself that he was the best. What a waste of energy. Seven years older and wiser, Zangulus realized now that Lina had been right about him. What was there afterwards? What would have there been afterwards even if he had beaten Gourry? Nothing but an empty victory. Emptier because he knew that, had the situation been reversed, he would not have spared Gourry's life. He would have consummated victory on the spot, probably have gotten an initial rush and a feeling of invincibility, and then nothing. Even if Gourry's friends, who had stood by throughout their final battle, had spared his life, he knew he would have been empty.

Because he learned a valuable lesson that day, but only after Gourry had defeated him. To lead the life of a warrior was one thing; to lead the life of a warrior without the fundamental principles of honor was something entirely different. Zangulus had had but a limited conceptualization of what honor meant within the context of the warrior code, but not enough of one to be able to tell the difference between an honorable challenge and blind, arrogant pursuit. He realized shortly after their fight that his life as bounty hunter had worn out whatever notions he may have had at one point about the real significance of being a warrior. He had become a mercenary. Plain and simple. Warriors could be mercenaries, but mercenaries could never be warriors. Mercenaries held no loyalties, no sense of duty, no sense of honor, nothing. All mercenaries sought was the bottom line, the payment for services rendered, even if such services entailed harming those that did not deserve harm.

And he had definitely regressed morally and spiritually into a mercenary.

He closed his eyes and thought of his last visit to his mother's home. Two years after his encounter with Gourry. He had, by then, been more conscientious about the assignments he chose, but it wasn't until he spoke with his mother that everything finally fell into place. It wasn't until the shame he felt at having to explain his profession to her that he realized the magnitude of his mistake. She hadn't even said anything. He remembered her, sitting quietly across from him at their dilapidated wooden table. He had finished explaining things to her. She only looked at him in silent observance. She didn't frown. She didn't move her eyes. She just looked at him. After all those years away from home, and to have to hear what he had done. That instead of joining one of the warrior circles in the nearby cities, he'd taken the easier path of the mercenary. That he'd abandoned his training and latched on with a mercenary guild that operated out of some hole in the wall. All for a quick fortune.

Which never came.

And she said nothing.

But the overwhelming disappointment she felt radiated throughout the entire house. She never needed to say or do anything, because he felt her disappointment all the same. He had always loved his mother; it had been the one source of emotion that had remained strong and consistent with the passage of time, probably because he never knew any other family besides her. And her disappointment in him threatened to loom over their relationship like a an ominous cloud, not raining but threatening to do so at any given moment. He could do nothing to change the past, but he swore to her, before he left again, that he'd never shame her again.

He opened his eyes again, having heard both Lina and Natalia seemingly whimpering in their sleep. He snickered again. Of all the nonsensical...

Lina. Lina had become his ticket to redemption. Because his reputation as mercenary had followed him wherever he went. And though he tried to enlist with several warrior circles, all had rejected him on grounds of his former profession. There was too much dishonor in him, too many past incidents that would make his presence within any reputable circle nothing short of disgraceful. Though he never again worked for criminals, he never did have a chance to redeem himself as he had promised his mother. The most he could do was take on assignments here and there that didn't involve transgression and injustice.

And then the war broke out. With news of the monsters' rapid advance throughout most major cities, he returned home as quickly as he could. Joined the defense. Failed in the defense. His mother never saw the total fulfillment of his vow to her. The weight of the remembrance was overwhelming. He clenched his hands in front of him and thought hard about what had happened since then.

Meeting Lina, for example. Seeing her again after all those years had snapped him out of that insanity he had fallen into rather quickly. Seeing her again after all those years had brought back a torrent of memories from the old days, days he had been trying to forget. Even now he couldn't explain why he had lied to her, why he had told Lina that he had been hired by the Delinde defense as a mercenary. Was he ashamed to admit what he had become to one who had known what he was back then? Was there a lingering sense of pride that kept him from revealing to her that he had, in fact, changed for the sake of honoring his mother? Was that so disgraceful a thing for a warrior to admit? He shook his head slowly to himself.

It was because his reform had never been completed. Because he'd never really had the chance to apply himself towards the pursuit of everything that he had not during those days of rampant irresponsibility. Echoes from his past life burst through that day because he could not now pretend to be the big hero in front of a woman who had known exactly what he had been. His subconscious guilt had spoken the lie: They needed fighters. I was hired.

He looked at Lina again and remembered that first day on top of that hill. She had been reading that letter of hers, oblivious to everything around her, oblivious to the fact that he had been watching her for most of the time. Looking at her sleeping now, he felt the same sense of wonder he'd felt back then. Yes, she had grown up. She had become a woman. A rather pretty one at that. Seemed more in control than she had back as a fifteen year old. Seemed alive and spirited despite everything around her. He could see why it was that Gourry had fallen in love with her. Only he didn't feel love for her. More like tenderness, perhaps the kind of tenderness he might have felt for a sister or a close cousin. Maybe it was the respect he had for Gourry that nurtured that affection. Maybe it was that sense of honor Gourry had taught him; it was the honorable thing to help Lina in her fight, however hopeless it sounded. As he watched her reading her letter, he had resolved to follow her to hell and back. He realized that to help her and to honor the memory of his posthumous friend was to fulfill the redemption he had promised his mother.

He snickered to himself again. Some help he was turning out to be. Between his limited worth against monster attacks and the relative ease with which Natalia had knocked him out - twice - he wondered if he wasn't being typical patriarchal big brother macho guy trying to look out for little sister when little sister was more than capable of not only taking care of herself but of beating the stuffing out of big brother as well. No. That wasn't his role. His role was to help her, not watch over her. And judging by the way she had directed the fight against the Leeches that day, he knew he'd do well to follow her lead.

He wanted to laugh. He wasn't sure if it was the lack of sleep, the thin air in the cavern, or simple nostalgia that had him thinking as introspectively as he was. To think, he was probably seconds away from introspecting upon life, upon death, upon all those things those so-called philosophers spent all their time with back before the war. Hell, if he kept at this, he'd even start thinking about Natalia and thinking flowery thoughts about her as well. He smiled quietly to himself in silent amusement, but frowned the moment he heard both Lina and Natalia start whimpering in their sleep again. Now their discomfort was more evident. Now it looked like something was plaguing their sleep. But both at once? Both responding as if experiencing the same dream? Strange. Maybe they were long lost sisters after all.

He shook his head again. No way. They were so similar, yet so different at the same time. Even if Lina had grown up since he last knew her, she still seemed years behind Natalia in terms of maturity. That much he could tell by the way the other one handled herself. That tired, sad look in her eyes that seemed to scream out even as her countenance bespoke tranquillity. That womanly voice that commanded authority yet which also held the distant, repressed traces of childhood fears and traumas only partially overcome. That grace, elegance, and courage with which she fought that nonetheless spoke volumes about smothered anger, rage, trepidation, and fear. Lina had, at some point, been a girl, lived like a girl, and shared in the joys and sadness of being a girl; Natalia, apparently, had been forced to circumvent all that because of circumstances beyond her control. And it showed on her, no matter how hard she tried to hide her misery from others.

Maybe there was something to be admired in that resolve of hers. Maybe there was something in it to commend her for, if indeed she dealt with her own problems and traumas not by lashing out at others but by keeping it all bottled up inside. If only everyone were that mature, that self-controlled. Well sure, she had knocked him out - twice - through treachery, so that might very well be chalked up as lashing out randomly. But hadn't she saved his life with the first, and merely evened the odds with the second? Didn't she seem to sincerely believe that she was doing it for a greater good? Of course, he didn't buy her explanation, not in the least, but he, like Lina, felt a certain conviction in her that was impossible to dismiss as the conviction of a raving lunatic. He too could sense the conflict in her, as if she was only doing it because she felt she was obligated to. And while the adrenaline produced by the encounter had clouded his judgment, he could now objectively see that, in fact, she was not the enemy. She was an ally in waiting, and a powerful one at that.

Zangulus startled himself; he hadn't noticed he'd been staring so intensely at the sleeping Natalia. But as he refocused on her, he suddenly found the contempt he had held for her gone. As he watched the gentleness in her sleeping face, and the emotional scars that even now seemed to be wanting to break through, he understood why. She could never be a monster. She was human after all. Very human. Maybe more than both Lina and him.

He smiled quietly to himself again and shook his head. That introspective stuff was really developing a life of its own now. No way in hell he was going to tell her all that, though. Let her think he still hated her. Keep her on her toes. Certainly didn't need for these two crazy women to think he had a crush on her or something.

His smile broadened again, because this time the two women's faces seemed to bear the same exact expression. Both sets of eyes and both mouths fixed into expressions that seemed to bespeak wonder and shock, amazement and fear, discovery and horror. Something was going on in their dreams, their apparently shared dreams, and by the marks registering on their faces, he could tell that it was something big. Now it was creeping him out. Were they in danger? Was this normal? Was it merely caused by the fact that Natalia was an Astral Wanderer? He feared for them, but he wasn't sure if it was warranted. They'd only been sleeping for about an hour, so he didn't feel it prudent to wake them up. Besides, what would he tell them? 'Oh sorry, it's just that you guys were making the same funny faces and I got creeped out.' Yeah, that would sound just fine.

Fortunately for Zangulus, he didn't need to wake them up.

As he sat there, alarmed and looking frantically at one and then the other, he almost fell backwards with the shock of suddenly seeing both sets of eyes simultaneously open wide full of alarm.

"What the..." he barely muttered.

"To the east?" Lina's voice was quick.

"Yes. We have to hurry."

"What's going on?" Zangulus asked anew.

Lina and Natalia quickly got to their feet and secured their capes and swords. Before Zangulus could utter another syllable, both were standing ready to go. Only then did they finally seem to notice their companion sitting dumbfounded and dazed upon the stone floor.

"Hurry up, Zangulus," Lina almost yelled as she turned back.

"Where are we going?" Zangulus felt instantly dumb.

"Away from here," Natalia answered as she returned towards the rear of the cavern, got out a loaded backpack of sorts, and secured it to her back. "Something tells me," she said, turning back to Lina, "we won't be coming back here anytime soon."

Lina nodded. Zangulus got up and secured his sword to his belt. And still he was in the dark.

And Lina noticed it.

"It's the New Sairaag Settlement," she finally said. "It's under attack."


Chapter 5   |   Fanfiction