I received "The Complete Stories of Lewis Carroll" for Christmas, so please forgive my silliness.
** No pun intended
'Dancer stared up at the dark wood ceiling and marveled at how easily people adapted to unusual situations. If I had been told one month ago that I'd be traveling a fantasy world with a cursed magic-user as a traveling companion I'd have told that person to seek help at Charter. She smiled, unbothered by the bustling of bath house. Wouldn't have believed that I'd get use to using a public bath house neither. She relaxed in the warm water and let her mind drift. Light reflected off the water and shimmered on the ceiling. It's a nice change, to be in a world where one's not locked into a system and has to kill oneself in order to maintain a decent standard of living. And the people! For once I'm in a place where humans aren't constantly fighting with each other. Bickering broke out between two girls and 'Dancer rolled her eyes. Okay, okay, so I lied. People are people regardless of where I travel in the universe. But this is a lot better than Earth. Twisting around 'Dancer saw two towel clad teens yelling at each other.
"BASTA!"
Her deafening shout caused both girls to jump. "If you two young ladies are going to act like spoiled brats, do the rest of the bath house a favor and take your petty argument outside." 'Dancer growled. The shorter girl had the decency to look ashamed, but the taller one tossed her curly aqua hair and spat.
"Curse you and your friends to wander lost in your reflection."
'Dancer stood, her eyes flashing dangerously as she drew herself to her full height.
"A pox upon you and your family, cruda!"
The aqua haired girl paled slightly, then turn away and left in a huff. 'Dancer returned to her bath, unfazed and determined to enjoy the rest of her bath.
"Thanks for your intervention, lady traveler." Murmured the older woman next to 'Dancer. "But I think you've made an enemy." 'Dancer simply shrugged.
"I won't be in town long enough for it to come to anything."
'Dancer stood in front of the full length mirror, dressed in her towel and combing her hair. The long red tresses fell around her knees as she methodically brushed the tangles out.
"My love was a dark beauty/ with lips like rose petals/ her hands were gentle/ her voice clear/ as she tamed horses/ on our farm." She hummed, finishing on one side and begining on the other. Feeling as though someone was watching her, she glanced up and was startled to see her reflection wink at her. Before she could react, her reflection leaned out of the mirror and kissed her.
"¿Q-qué?" 'Dancer lost her balance and was pulled into the mirror.
Landing hard on her rump 'Dancer bit back a yelp and looked around. She was in a deserted bath house. It was silent except for the dripping of a facet. 'Dancer's composure left her.
"¿!¿Dónde los cuernos estoy?!?"
Zelgadis had just stepped out of the bath when one of the other patrons let out an oath.
"What's wrong Lanny?" A friend of his asked. The first man glowered at his pants.
"My drawstring just broke. And my wife had just replaced it!"
"Ah. That's an evil omen."
Zelgadis rolled his eyes at the second man's superstition, and was taken aback to see his reflection tapping his head then pointing to the man. Zelgadis stepped towards the mirror as his reflection smiled at him. A second later his reflection lunged out and grabbed him.
"Nanda-!"
'Dancer sighed glumly and leaned against the partition she'd climbed to peek over into the men's part of the bath house.
"Where'd everyone go?" She muttered. The mirrors of on this side where all dark and smoky. Abruptly one panel of the mirrors on the men's side lit up and Zelgadis tumbled through, managing to land flat on his face.
"Itttttttteeeeee." He hissed, sitting up.
"You know, you really shouldn't sit like that in a towel." 'Dancer stated in a bored tone. Zelgadis looked up, then down and turned purple from his waist up as he hastily drew his knees under him. 'Dancer politely kept a straight face.
"What the hell's going on?"
'Dancer shrugged. "Beats the hell-" The aqua haired girl's curse flitted through her mind. "-outta me." I'm in enough trouble with him as it stands now. I'm not about to fess up to this too. "Did you get pulled in by your reflection too?" She wanted to know. Zelgadis nodded, standing.
"So, where is here?"
"The other side of the mirror." 'Dancer sighed. "Listen, I'm going to get some clothes on, so let's meet at the entrance in a few, 'k?"
"Fine." Zelgadis waved her away and 'Dancer jumped down, heading for the lockers. She quickly discovered that if it wasn't in plain sight of the mirrors (i.e. outside a locker) it didn't exist on this side of the mirror. Slamming her locker door shut she hissed a curse and looked around the locker room for ANYTHING to wear. Sitting neatly folded on a bench was a white shift, similar to the sleeveless type novice priestesses wore. Not seeing any other choice, 'Dancer quickly changed into the slightly short garment and tied the simple white cord around her waist. Then she walked to the enterance, braiding her hair.
Zelgadis too had discovered the same law of objects and met 'Dancer at the entrance wearing an over-sized button-down white cotton shirt (sleeves rolled up to the elbow), brown shorts, and a pair of dark green boots.
"You got lucky. I couldn't find any foot gear." 'Dancer semi-lamented, semi greeted him. Zelgadis quickly looked her over, a smile tugging at his lips.
"You look like a shrine maiden." He remarked drolly. 'Dancer snorted.
"Oh, yeah, that's me, dedicating my life to the gods of light, love and sweetness." She gave him a once over. "You on the other hand, you look pretty good. You should wear stuff like this more often."
Zelgadis looked uncomfortable and abruptly changed the subject.
"Are you ready to go?" Pobrecito. You're so used to being dissed that when you're handed a compliment you don't even know what to do with it.
"Yeah, let's go."
Outside the noon sun glared down at the duo on the dusty road. The bath house they had walked out of was at the top of a hill (it's other-side counterpart had been nestled between two mountains at the entrance to a small hamlet) overlooking the most curious wheat fields.
"Why on earth would they waste such space on all those roads?" 'Dancer wondered aloud. Zelgadis looked slightly disturbed. "It looks almost familiar..." He muttered, frowning thoughtfully. He suddenly snapped his fingers.
"Go!" 'Dancer gave him a puzzled look.
"Go where?" Zelgadis shook his head. "No, I mean it looks like a giant Go board." 'Dancer still look baffled. "What's...go? A board game?" Zelgadis gave her an astonished look. "You've never played Go?" 'Dancer shook her head. "Didn't even know a game like that existed. Does having a giant Go board mean anything special?"
"Nothing more special than a giant checker board." He paused. "You have played checkers, haven't you?" 'Dancer rewarded him with a flat look. "Yes." She looked back over the fields. "Bizarre..."
"Not half as strange as the two of you." Someone twittered. Both travelers turned, reaching for their non-existent weapons. The road was empty, and aside from the flowers swaying gently in the wind, nothing stirred.
"You... just heard something, right?" 'Dancer asked quietly. Zelgadis nodded. "Then I didn't just imagine that." She murmured.
"Of course not." 'Dancer and Zelgadis both felt sweat forming on their brows.
"Where... are you?" 'Dancer asked taking a hesitant step forward.
"Right in front of you, fool. No, lower down, LOWER, you idiot. Yes, me. Down here." A large violet waved a leaf at them. 'Dancer and Zelgadis turned around facing the fields again.
"It's a talking flower." Zelgadis said quietly.
"Is this norm- scratch that, have you ever heard of talking flowers, Zel?"
Zelgadis shook his head. "This is singular even for me." He admitted.
They turned back around.
"So, Ms. Violet,-"
"That's MR. Violet to you, Ape. I don't know why all you stupid two leggers think that just because I'm a flower I have to be female."
"Right. Okay, MR. Violet, could you tell us how to get out of this place?"
"You've just been insulted by a weed, and now your asking it for directions?" Zelgadis asked.
"Shut up."
"Walk any which way." The violet answered uninterestedly.
"Really, Vi, she's just asking for directions. Where is it that you need directions too, dear?" Asked a poppy.
"Well...We were just pulled through a mirror into this... world(?), and we kinda want to get back to where we came from." 'Dancer explained.
"Hmm. That is a dilemma." The poppy scratched the top of it's petals with it's leaf.
"She should find a Head Game Piece and ask him, rather than standing in my light." Snapped a rose in a nasally voice. "She's making me wilt." It complained.
"I'm not even close enough to cast a shadow on you!" 'Dancer retorted peevishly. The rose snorted derisively. 'Dancer buried her face in her hand.
"I can't believe I'm holding an argument with a plant."
"Should we speak to a Head Game Piece, O Poppy?" Zelgadis asked suavely, coming to 'Dancer's rescue.
The poppy nodded sagely.** "For all my companion's arrogance, he does have a valid point. A Head Game Piece would be an excellent person to ask."
"Where would we find one?"
"Generally they are in the very middle of the fields. However, any other Game Piece could tell you where they are if they aren't there."
"Thank you very much." Zelgadis bowed deeply to the flower bed, and walked towards the fields. "Are you coming?" He asked over his shoulder to 'Dancer, who was feeling the beginnings of a migraine.
"Voy, voy." She grumbled, catching up with him. "I'm never comparing anything nice to a rose again." She muttered.
"I heard that!" Shouted the rose. 'Dancer turned in time to see it shooting it's thorns at her. She hissed as a dozen thorns pierced the back of the hand she'd brought up to protect her face. Zelgadis sprang forward and ripped the rose out of the flower bed.
"How dare you!" He snarled, turning the de-thorned plant upside down and shoving it, petals first, back into the soil. The rose, which had been wailing the entire time, abruptly fell silent, then turned to ash and which was blown away by the next stray breeze.
"Wasn't that a bit extreme?" 'Dancer asked, plucking the thorns out of her skin. Several drops of blood squirted out as she made a fist. Zelgadis blushed and scratched the back of his head. 'Dancer missed the expression though, as she was inspecting her hand.
"No permanent damage." She looked up, and Zelgadis caught a look of uncertainty flit across her face. "Let's just find a Head Game Piece and get out of here, 'k?" Zelgadis nodded and they headed off down the road.
"I don't get it. The longer we walk towards those fields, the further away we seem to get." 'Dancer said exasperatedly. Zelgadis looked thoughtful. "Stay here, I going to try something." He took off running down the road only to disappear from view around the curve of the road.
" 'Dancer!" 'Dancer turned around, and standing approximately fifty meters up the road from her was Zelgadis.
"How-?" 'Dancer scratched her head as Zelgadis motioned for her to walk towards him. After about ten step, when he didn't look any closer, she began running towards him, only to completely lose sight of him. Instead she was surrounded by tall wheat fields.
"Zel, where the hell are you?" She whispered, begining to loss her composure. A hand clapped her on the shoulder and yelping she wiped around with a knife hand to the neck. Zelgadis caught her wrist before she could deliver the blow.
"Relax, it's just me."
"Don't do that to me!" 'Dancer screamed, her heart racing double time. "You nearly gave me a coronary!"
"Sorry. But I was right." He released her hand as 'Dancer calmed down.
"You were right about what?"
"How to get here from there. One has to go backwards."
"I'm sorry, I'm completely lost at this point. Could you start again?"
"We were pulled into a mirror, ne? And in the bath house, everything was the exact same as the other one, except that it was inverted, ne?" 'Dancer nodded. "So everything has to be done either opposite or backwards here." A little light went on in 'Dancer's head. "So by moving away from somethig we're actually moving towards something?"
Zelgadis nodded and 'Dancer rubbed her forehead.
"Okay, I...I understand, creo." She looked around. "So we need to face the hill to get to the middle? Bueno, let's go."
They'd been traveling for the better part of an hour when a swarm of knitting needles with wings made of lace flew by. 'Dancer ducked, not wanting to get poked by the wicked looking points, but Zelgadis just stood there, mouth hanging ajar.
"What," he asked finally, "were those?" 'Dancer shrugged helplessly.
"Lacewings." A pigeon sized deer with incandescent bug wings hovered at eye level answered his question. 'Dancer and Zelgadis took a step back in surprise.
"And you would be a ...what?" 'Dancer asked, finally surrendering her disbelief.
"A Deerfly. I take it that you're new to these parts." That's putting it mildly.
"Okay then, what are those?" She pointed to another approaching swarm.
"Those are Bread-and-Butter-Flies." 'Dancer gave the flying deer a sideways glance. "Are they really made of bread and butter?" The Deerfly nodded. "Oh yes, their wings are thin slices of bread and butter, their bodies are made of the crust, and the head is a lump of sugar."
"Really." 'Dancer said in an all too innocent voice. Zelgadis looked at her sharply as the swarm descended upon them. " 'Dancer you're not-"
'Dancer reached out and grabbed a handful of bread-and-butter-flies. Before either chimera or deerfly could protest she took a bite out of one of them.
"Hmmmm..... Not bad. Wanna try one Zel?" She offered an uneaten one to him.
"Wha-wha-wha-Murderer! You murderer!" Shrieking in horror the deerfly buzzed off.**
Even Zelgadis looked a little queasy. " 'Dancer..." 'Dancer gave him a hurt look.
"Look, I'm sorry, but I gotta eat at least one meal a day, and breakfast was hours ago." Zelgadis looked away. "Fine just, " He glanced back at the quivering mass of bread in her hands and shuddered. "just, try not to look like you're enjoying it so much."
"Fair enough."
'Dancer judged they were half way to... wherever when a house came into view. Playing in the small clearing around the house were two childern, a boy and a girl, identical in all aspects except that the girl had a green ribbon in her long pink hair.
"Hi. We're kinda lost. Could you tell us which way is to the middle of the field?" 'Dancer asked. The two children exchanged glances.
"What are -" The boy started "-your names?" the girl finished.
"I'm 'Dancer and this is Zel." Zel nodded.
"He's Wum," Said the girl pointing to the boy, "and she's Wee." the boy pointed to the girl. Sure, why not?
"So could you point us in the right direction?" 'Dancer asked hopefully.
"First, you must-" Started Wum, "-listen to a poem." finished Wee.
'Dancer looked at Zelgadis who just shrugged. The two sat down on a log as the twins began to recite, switching speaker mid-sentence.
The sun beat down relentlessly and 'Dancer drowsily leaned her head against Zelgadis's shoulder. Zelgadis turned quickly, feeling her head on his shoulder, and was about to say something sharp when he noticed the flush of her cheeks. Her skin was hot to the touch and concerned he shook her awake.
"Oi, 'Dancer, snap out of it." 'Dancer blinked awake. "¿Qu- what?"
"You're burning up with fever." She touched her right hand to her head and Zelgadis grabbed it and turned it over.
"Ow! Zel, you're hurting me." Zelgadis pointed to the back of her hand. It was swollen and enflamed. Angry red lines radiated out from the swollen area and into her forearm. 'Dancer swallowed dryly. "Poison..."